First, the Boomerang Kids – then the Doomerangs

Have you got a miserable middle-aged man squatting in your spare room? A heartbroken woman hogging the remote control and necking your merlot? If so, then “welcome” to the cutting edge of dysfunctional 21st-century demographics; the Doomerang Generation.

We are accustomed to the term Boomerangers to describe young people who leave home to study, only to catapult back because they can’t find a job or afford a flatshare. And because they still just about resemble their baby pictures ( give or take the odd tattoo) and aren’t too old to give their old mum a cuddle, they are generally greeted with open arms.

Not like Doomerangers, who are fully fledged adults with kids, mortgages, male pattern baldness and enough emotional baggage to jam the luggage carousels at Gatwick.

Apparently, some seven million of them have dolefully returned to their parents’ house like overgrown cuckoos, because they have screwed up their lives or left their wives or mismanaged their finances.

Often, it’s men who turn up on their parents’ doorstep after divorce because women usually get the house. Researchers say 55 per cent of Doomerangers are motivated by money concerns, and 40 per cent are in urgent need of psychological support. Yikes.

Most parents will do whatever they can – especially if it helps grown-up children back on their own two feet and into their own four walls. But whatever else, it’s a modern inversion of “be nice to your kids, because they’ll be the ones choosing your care home”.

Be nice to your mum and dad so they don’t rent out your old room. Ever.