Now that, cough, splutter, is how to deliver, slurp, a truly successful speech

THE perfect best man’s speech should take hours of work to assemble, and be delivered with the help of a willing audience and a healthy dose of Dutch courage.

Those who wish to have their words go down in history, however, may want to adopt one other unexpected tactic: a cough.

A cough, a leading academic has claimed, can help audiences concentrate on what a speaker is saying, giving their brains a regular break to keep them fresh. Prof David Crystal, the linguist, said a seemingly impromptu interruption was one of the keys to a great speech, after studies showed people can only pay attention for around five minutes without fatigue.

Speaking at Hay Festival, sponsored by The Telegraph, he said drinking water, pretending to check notes, or faking a cough at five to 10-minute intervals would be “very useful” in getting a

message across. Prof Crystal, author of The Gift of the Gab: How Eloquence

Works, used his own tactics during a presentation at Hay, mock-spluttering before telling an audience: “I haven’t really got a cough, but you’ve had another five minutes – you need a break.”

He added: “A drink of water is also a good idea, very handy. It only takes five or 10 seconds, but it’s just enough for the audience to reset their batteries.”

Delivering his top tips for speechmaking, appropriate for any events from a wedding speech to a business presentation, Prof Crystal said he advocated talking good-natured “rubbish” for the first few moments and keeping the most important facts for last.