Please spare us all these celebrity ‘protests’ at awards ceremonies

Reporters on red carpet duty at the Baftas definitely missed a trick as they idled around the celebrities arriving for the ceremony at the Royal Albert Hall. Rather than wondering whether the frock was Prada or Pucci, wouldn’t it have been better to ask all those glittering A-listers whether they’d be Brexit-bashing or Trumptrashing, should they win a gong that evening?

At least that way us hapless viewers who – like your shallow correspondent – had only tuned in to gawp at the frocks would have been duly warned. Then that way we’d have known when to get up and put the kettle on. Instead, we were forced to endure yet another dose of right-on, knownothing, cheap-politicalpoint-scoring celebs aiming to prick our consciences. Spare me.

Unfortunately, celebrity protest is the new Opposition. Sure, it looks better than the dishevelled state of the Labour Party, where Corbyn’s Steptoe and

Son chic is clearly so last season. But to ordinary people battered by tax hikes and financial uncertainty, having it infect our leisure time is as tediously selfimportant as it is woefully misplaced.

I know Meryl Streep went to Yale. But did she have to use her Lifetime Achievement award at last month’s Golden Globes to punch out a sustained attack on Donald Trump? Who is she supposed to be speaking up for? Because if you’re a beleaguered working mum, battling to balance the books, does a champagneflushed dame sitting a few rows away from Brad Pitt really offer a way out of Dead-end-ville?

That’s why George Clooney got it so wrong when he smugly proclaimed that Trump would not win the presidency as “the American public will not be ruled by fear”. Er, tell that to the disaffected Rust Belt voters of the mid-West, who could feed a family for a year if Amal flogged a couple of her designer outfits. These stars claim that Trump doesn’t represent America. But when it comes to an out-oftouch establishment, it is they who are the showstoppers.

Can they not learn that we mere mortals don’t want our star-spangled escapism hijacked by self-serving dollops of worthy geopolitics, like the one Emma Stone produced in accepting her Best Actress Bafta for La La Land. “The world,” she noted “is going through a bit of a time.” Now perhaps there are stars who have a genuine understanding of complex political issues, but most of the time there is – as in Stone’s case – plenty of room left on the back of that postage stamp. So take a tip from your profession, please, film stars and... “CUT!”

We know you want to look good and sound good. This has always been true. And political protest stunts at awards ceremonies have also been around for ever – remember Marlon Brando dispatching Sacheen Littlefeather to claim his Oscar for The Godfather?

But the sheer ubiquity of today’s “protests” makes them as mind-numbingly formulaic as traditional awards speeches. If celebs really want to do good, then they should translate the lines they learn into action. Roll up those designer sleeves, stand for office, serve in a food bank, or throw open the mansion doors to boatloads of refugees. That way, at least next time I watch an awards ceremony, I can pass the popcorn and not the sick bag.