A wedding without a hitch – where’s the fun in that?
Behind-the-nuptials documentary The Wedding Day (Channel 4) wasn’t so much about the couple marrying as the father-of-the-bride. Talk about a midlife crisis in human form. Fiftysomething divorcé Steven had the lot: sports car, long hair, unwise hats, younger girlfriend with a chihuahua in her handbag. Would he be able to walk his daughter down the aisle without doing something embarrassing?
After four decades of decline, we were told, British weddings are on the rise again. This compelling film followed preparations for Cambridgeshire couple Serena and Jordan’s big day. Really, though, it was a way to examine modern attitudes to marriage through their contrasting families.
Down-to-earth groom Jordan came from solidly ordinary stock in Stoke. His parents, Alan and Julie, had been together 42 years. As they sat on a sofa being cute and cosy, they resembled Creature Comforts characters. “Serena’s absolutely stunning, like a model,” cooed Julie. “A lot of people think my son’s the gardener.” The most excited Alan got was about their old Seventies boiler, a Glowworm Spacesaver which was “still going strong after 30-odd years”.
Toothy blonde bride-to-be Serena’s background was more privileged but her parents, Sally and behatted Steven (the sort of bloke who wears Moet & Chandon-branded sunglasses indoors), were acrimoniously divorced. Steven roared up in a hired Lamborghini having jetted in from Marbella, saying things such as: “My perfect relationship is with someone who loves me a little bit more than I love them.”
This nouveau riche David Brent saw Jordan’s lack of flashiness as a character defect. “He’s a decent bloke but I can’t get my head around his frugality.”
Serena stressed over details. The magician was ill. There weren’t enough tealights. The indoor tree wasn’t correctly positioned. Jordan shrugged: “All we need is alcohol, food and music. Boom, done.” When they finally stood at the altar, even Alan dabbed away a tear. Probably thinking about the reliability of his boiler.
Did all this tell us anything about modern marriage? Not much, except that some people (namely Jordan) aspire to what their parents have, while others (Serena) are desperate to avoid making the same mistakes – hence choosing a Mr Reliable over a Mr Flash.
In the end, the day went off without a hitch and Steven behaved himself. I couldn’t help feeling disappointed. Happily ever after is all very well but it’s not nearly as fun to watch as fireworks.
First Dates: Valentine’s Special (Channel 4) kicked off the channel’s romantic-themed programming – presumably scheduled on Valentine’s Eve because on the night itself, everyone will be too busy enjoying candlelit dinners and ordering one pudding with two spoons. Or weeping into their pillow.
Five plucky couples ventured into the camera-rigged restaurant, looking for love. It was all slickly edited, as we’ve come to expect with this deceptively simple hit series.
Vince and Anna seemed a good match: both wore red shoes, both lived in Manchester, both were single parents – and that was before they worked out that they’d met 22 years previously. “I never kiss on a first date,” said Anna. “It’s not a first date,” replied Vince, leaning in for a snog.
Nerdy Peter hit it off with German charmer Gregor, who got emotional during his predate interview. “Well done, you made a German cry,” he sobbed. Less successful were 63-yearolds Elaine and Steve. He blew it by insisting that they go Dutch. “I’m worth more than that,” sniffed Elaine.
The voyeuristically delicious action on the tables-for-two was by far the best thing here. I could have done without the trimmings: staged chats between the waiters and cheesy greetings card homilies from maître d’ Fred Sirieix. Elaborate facial hair and a French accent does not a philosopher make.
Apart from some graphics (red roses and hearts ahoy) and shenanigans with the staff sending each other cards, the Valentine’s theme was superfluous. Every episode of First
Dates is romantic, after all. Still, this one had a high hit rate, with four of the five couples continuing to date after the cameras stopped rolling. It gets a four out of five star rating, too. Happy Valentine’s Day.
The Wedding Day First Dates: Valentine’s Special