A transgender woman can’t know the hot roar of the menopause. It’s a different perspective

Many years ago, as a green reporter on a local paper, I was dispatched to interview a successful businessman who had left his wife and family to undergo transition surgery to become a woman. The brief offered by my gritty Lancastrian news editor was remarkably simple: “Go find out why Ken wanted to be Barbie.”

Outrageous, I know. But this was the late Eighties, a time when boorish hacks could import their Neanderthal beer talk into the office without fear of castration. Despite my inexperience, the interview went well – until, that is, it was over and I got up to leave. As Stephanie (as the company director was now called) guided me out of the office, I inadvertently waited for her to open the door.

“Sorry, darling,” she swiftly remonstrated. “I don’t do that any more.” I flushed crimson with embarrassment and offered a stumbling apology. Considering the extensive surgery and full-on Dynasty wardrobe, how could I have still regarded Stephanie as a man?

Reflecting on the episode today, however, I no longer cringe at my response. In fact it betrayed an uncomfortable truth: we cannot expect absolute parity between a woman who is female by birth and one who is female through surgical and hormonal intervention. Not least, this is because those who undergo a sex change once enjoyed the privileges accorded to men (even holding doors open, as Stephanie had once done).

It’s a sentiment shared by broadcaster Jenni Murray, who is now under fire after suggesting that men who have had sex-change operations should not claim to be “real women”. Almost immediately, the backlash kicked in, with accusations of transphobia and an antitrans agenda being levelled at the Radio 4 presenter. Yet the woolly-headed libertarians roaring for Murray’s P45 have got their case woefully wrong.

It’s simply true that only those who are born women can know what it is to navigate the messy business of puberty and the rage of premenstrual tension. Only they can watch in wonder (or horror – take your pick) as a once taut body becomes doughy and blubbery thanks to babies, fluctuating oestrogen or the hot roar of the menopause.

Only they can know what it is to protect like a tigress or howl with despair when the hurt runs so deep. Only they can understand the disappointment when he doesn’t phone. Or play the mind games when he does. Enjoy the solidarity of sisterhood or endure the ferocity of female machinations. And that’s only the start.

This is not to say the identity of someone who has become a woman is of any less value, or worthy of respect. But it is a different experience, a different perspective.

Not that difference of perspective is what those howling with faux outrage about Jenni Murray’s remarks want you to experience. Her critics merely want her (and you) to shut up, and I’m afraid their call for her dismissal is just the usual violent assault on free speech masquerading as political correctness. Murray’s opinions are firmly held and perfectly lawful; it’s the attempt to smother those opinions that is dangerous.

Of course, if I went back to interview Stephanie, the transgender business boss, I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Not because she wasn’t a “real woman”. But because I am. And a grown-up one at that. If only Jenni Murray’s detractors could grow up, too.