Let’s hope Vanessa has some (Tom) Cruise control

The actor spotted Kirby, above, in The Crown playing Princess Margaret

Have you heard about Tom Cruise’s new squeeze? She’s a mature woman – over 50, at least – grown-up curves, the sort of person who has lived a good life and has the laughter lines to show it. Ha ha! As if.

Dating a woman his own age, with opinions and experience and the nerve to suggest Scientology is a load of claptrap? Now, that really would be Mission: Entirely Impossible.

Instead, Cruise, 54, has fallen for 28-year-old London-born actress Vanessa Kirby, whom he cast in his new movie after seeing her in the Netflix series The

Crown, in which she plays Princess Margaret to Claire Foy’s Queen Elizabeth.

She’s a talented young woman, having won awards for her theatre work, and appeared in A Streetcar Named Desire opposite Gillian Anderson at the

Young Vic and its transfer to New York.

It is said that Cruise was so blown away by her “endless charm and energy” when they met, that she was a shoo-in for Mission: Impossible 6.

Oh dear, I do hope she manages to resist his cheesy charisma, because look what happened to Katie Holmes after he jumped up and down on Oprah’s sofa to declare his love.

She wed him when she was just 25, converted to Scientology… and divorced him five years later, all the while clutching their daughter, Suri, like a living comfort blanket.

Vanessa, I don’t care if Cruise swings from the studio chandeliers and promises an A-lister trip in his spaceship: stay well away.

On the plus side, her father is a urologist. He of all people will recognise when someone is taking the proverbial.