The Daily Telegraph

He welcomed an ingenue – then took a hard line

- By Ingrid Seward

When Lady Diana Spencer first appeared at Balmoral as a guest of Prince Charles in the early Eighties, Prince Philip made a huge effort to make her feel welcome. Although the Queen called her “one of us” because her father Lord Spencer had been an equerry to the Queen’s father, Philip recognised her as an awkward young girl who was overawed by the situation.

He frequently sat next to her at dinner and although she couldn’t think of anything to say to him, engaged her in conversati­on.

He was always direct and straight to the point but never unkind and his relationsh­ip with the Princess is documented in letters that came to light during the inquest into her death.

When her marriage to Prince Charles started to go wrong, Philip stepped in to help. He tried to play intermedia­ry between Diana and Charles by suggesting to her things they could do together and listing common interests they shared, which is a tried-and-tested method favoured by marriage guidance counsellor­s – not really Philip’s style at all.

Diana addressed him throughout as “dearest Pa” and one of her letters to him began “Dearest Pa, I was particular­ly touched by your most recent letter which proved to me … that you really do care.’

Philip expressed his concern about her bulimia and acknowledg­ed it could have been responsibl­e for some of her behavioura­l patterns. He also acknowledg­ed she was a good mother, but maybe she had been too possessive with her sons. The advice was well meant, but like most insecure people, Diana did not appreciate being told off one bit and furiously showed the letters to friends including Rosa Monckton and Lucia Flecha da Lima who helped her construct replies.

He went on to suggest Diana’s behaviour might have even driven Charles into Camilla’s arms. In one letter, he told her being the wife of the heir to the throne “involved much more than simply being a hero with the British people”.

He did start one letter with the words: “Phew!!! I thought I might have gone a bit too far with that last letter.”

Diana had always acknowledg­ed that Prince Philip’s letters were helpful in the beginning, but his tone changed. He was straight to the point and said her actions were damaging the Royal family. The affection they shared turned to mutual dislike and paranoia on Diana’s part.

Her other friend, the US billionair­e deal-maker Teddy Forstmann, said: “She hated Prince Philip.”

She told me the same thing when I saw her at Kensington Palace shortly before her death in 1997. She said she had told her boys: “Never, never shout at anyone the way Prince Philip does.”

Perhaps if these two strong characters had been able to sustain their early relationsh­ip, Diana would have understood his advice. He was protecting the Queen. When he saw Diana’s, actions were damaging the monarchy he had to have his say. That is the way he is and always has been. Ingrid Seward is author of ‘Diana The Last Word’ and editor in chief of ‘Majesty Magazine’.

 ??  ?? Philip and Diana at Derby Day in 1986. Their strong early relationsh­ip turned to mutual dislike as he believed her actions were damaging the monarchy
Philip and Diana at Derby Day in 1986. Their strong early relationsh­ip turned to mutual dislike as he believed her actions were damaging the monarchy

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