Summer reading for intellectuals? They’re having a laugh
It’s become a glorious tradition. Every summer, in the arts pages of the press, our leading public intellectuals compete to see which of them can recommend the most overpoweringly worthy books to read on holiday. I love these lists. However long you trawl, you’re guaranteed never to come across a mass-market thriller, a romantic comedy or any other type of book a lesser mortal might actually consider reading on a sunlounger.
Instead, the lists groan with brick-thick novels set during the Somali civil war, biographies of Polish poets and grim reportage from the Gaza Strip. This year, in the Guardian’s “Holiday Reads”, Julian Barnes chooses Marie Darrieussecq’s Being Here, the life story of the German expressionist painter Paula Modersohn-becker. Paul Mason plugs an insight into “the front trench of the gender war”. Daljit Nagra urges us to hit the beach clutching The Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt.
These books may well be as brilliant as their advocates claim. My question is simply this: is that really what these people read when they’re sipping piña colada by the pool? Is that genuinely how they relax? And, since they’re sharing recommendations in a national newspaper, is that how they expect other people to relax, too?
As it happens, I’m going to Spain in a couple of weeks. I’ll be packing Horkheimer and Adorno’s Dialectic of Enlightenment, all 30 volumes of the Encylopaedia Britannica (15th edition, 1974), and Finnegans Wake in Javanese.
One book I really would recommend for your holidays (at least if you’re a football fan): The Mixer by Michael Cox. It’s a fascinating look at the revolution in English football since the Premier League began 25 years ago.
Mainly, it’s about managers’ tactical secrets – but it also shows how much footballers have changed physically. Today’s star players are gym-buffed demigods fuelled by steamed broccoli and green tea. This certainly wasn’t the case before the Premier League.
At Arsenal, for example, players used to enjoy a tradition known as The Tuesday Club. Every Wednesday, to help them conserve energy for Saturday’s match, their manager gave them the day off training. The players responded by spending every Tuesday afternoon getting legless in the pub, knowing that they could use the following day to sleep off the hangover. Arsenal’s players didn’t only have a remarkable capacity for drink. On the coach back to London after a match in Newcastle, the squad kept themselves amused by holding an eating contest. The winner would be whoever could eat the greatest number of dinners. Victory was claimed by Steve Bould. He managed nine.
The BBC is facing accusations of over-spending and sexism since publication of its biggest stars’ salaries. But it isn’t the first time that BBC pay has sparked controversy.
The Keith Harris Show In 1990, muchloved duo Keith Harris and Orville the Duck were rumoured to have come to blows, after a BBC insider revealed that Orville was being paid twice as much as Harris.
Sources close to Harris said he’d previously been assured by TV chiefs that he and his co-star were on equal money. In fury, Harris accused Orville of betrayal, and the two never spoke again.
Orville subsequently attempted to launch a solo career, but without success.
Blue Peter
In 1971 there was uproar after the News of the World discovered that the BBC was paying Shep the Blue Peter dog a salary of £450,000.
Bosses insisted that this was the market rate for a border collie of Shep’s skills and experience. But when it was reported that other Blue Peter pets were in lower salary bands, the BBC was widely condemned for the species pay gap.
George the Blue Peter tortoise protested that he was being paid a mere £100,000 – which only just put him above Janet Ellis and Sarah Greene.
Mastermind
The BBC came in for heavy criticism in 2008 when a newspaper investigation found that the Corporation was paying over £600,000 a year to the Mastermind chair.
“We understand licence-fee payers’ concerns,” said a BBC spokesman. “However, the fact is that the BBC is competing against commercial rivals who have the resources to offer even higher rates to a chair of this calibre. We’re proud of the BBC’S record of attracting world-class furniture, and will continue to invest in the kind of high-quality sofas and desks our viewers love.”
The spokesman added that to achieve greater value for licence-fee payers, the Mastermind chair would now also be appearing on Match of the Day, Homes Under the Hammer and Songs of Praise.
More in-fighting in the Labour Party. Two thirds of members say the UK must remain a member of the European single market and customs union – directly contradicting the view of Jeremy Corbyn.
This is, quite clearly, an appalling show of disloyalty by party members. They are shamelessly undermining their leader’s position on Brexit, as laid out in the acclaimed manifesto that helped Labour achieve a historic second-place finish at the recent general election.
To avoid any more of this treachery, Mr Corbyn must act. The solution is simple.
He should deselect his members at once, and replace them with new members who better reflect his views.
If members don’t respect the mandate they gave him, then quite frankly there is no place for them in a democratic party.