This Great British Bake Off rehash was half-baked
Welcome to the BBC’S post-bake Off era. The Big Family Cooking Showdown (BBC Two) was the Corporation’s first attempt to replace the sweet-toothed smash hit, which debuts on its new home, Channel 4, in a fortnight.
In a bid to fill the marquee-shaped hole in its schedules, the Beeb hasn’t looked far for inspiration. A cookery contest airing midweek at 8pm, presented by two women, judged by a veteran female cook and a silver foxy fiftysomething man… Sound familiar? No wonder one tabloid trilled “The oven gloves are off!” to whip up a GBBO vs BFCS rivalry.
This 12-part contest is savoury rather than sweet and based around home-cooked family favourites. Each heat sees two clans go head-to-head to impress the judges: Michelin-starred Italian chef Giorgio Locatelli and matronly cookery teaching doyenne Rosemary Shrager.
Challenges take place both in the family’s own homes and the studio: a swish barn, kitted out in twee, shabby chic style to resemble something from a glossy interiors magazine. It’s presented by the ever-engaging Zoë Ball and former Bake Off champion Nadiya Hussain, just to hammer home the cakey connection.
In the opening episode, a culinary clash between the Marks family from Shepherd’s Bush in London and Bridlington’s Charles family. The Marks cooked Scandi-inspired dishes, helped – or more accurately, hindered – by 86-year-old grandmother Torin. This Swedish-born former fashion designer was a sheer joy: partial to gin and dancing around the kitchen, thrice married, with two boyfriends on the go. The Charles were more consistent and made, according to Locatelli, “one of the best risottos I’ve ever tasted”. High praise indeed.
There was much to admire here. It was absorbing and slickly produced, while the family dynamic lent instant warmth to the contestants’ interactions. The standout star was craggy-faced Locatelli, who loomed intimidatingly when anyone dared attempt Italian fare, then raved passionately about the results. Ball and Hussain were smiley, matey and sported a selection of printed blouses that will have female viewers Googling where to buy them.
However, the format also had its flaws. Forming emotional attachments to contestants, as Bake Off fans annually do, could be tricky. There are simply too many of them (a whopping 48, in fact) and we won’t see the victorious Charleses again until October’s semi-final.
It lacked a little humour, mainly due to the fact that Ball and Hussain, unlike Mel and Sue, aren’t a longestablished comedy duo. Bake Off-esque innuendo was avoided, even when meatballs were on the menu
Most of all, it felt formulaic. There were three rounds, just like Bake Off. Everyone was kind, supportive and firmly middle-class, just like Bake Off. Music swelled, fingers trembled and tension built as the clock counted down, just like Bake Off.
It all felt rather half-baked.
People Just Do Nothing (BBC Three) is precisely the sort of show the “yoof ” channel should be making: contemporary, created by unknown talent and carefully nurtured by the corporation’s experienced comedy producers.
This mockumentary, set at fictional pirate radio station Kurupt FM, deservedly won a Bafta earlier this year. Think of it as The Office starring Ali G instead of David Brent.
As the sportswear-clad crew returned for a fourth series, tensions ran high when they discovered the existence of a rival station, Kold FM. “We invented the K,” declared Kurupt kingpin MC Grindah (Allan Mustafa). “This means Kold War, bruv.”
The situation wasn’t helped by Grindah’s spiralling drug habit and heartbreak over his split from beautician girlfriend Miche (Lily Brazier). “His hair’s suffering,” said Miche, secretly enjoying how her ex had gone to seed. Grindah added: “After three months, your clothes start cleaning themselves.”
As always, wheeler-dealer Chabuddy G (Asim Chaudhry) – a sort of Asian Del Boy – stole most scenes he was in. He chatted up shoppers at Babies R Us because, “I like a woman who’s sexually experienced but also a little bit tired.”
The boys tried to set Grindah on the straight and narrow by staging an intervention – slightly undermined by Chabuddy pronouncing it “hinterwention”. Grindah took offence and quit. He’ll be back. Kurupt FM’S 100-strong listenership will demand it.
The Big Family Cooking Showdown