The savvy woman’s guide to Christmas gifts
From buying in bulk to shopping for things we secretly want ourselves, we all have our underhand tactics
This morning, as you find yourself looking over “prudent gift purchases” made across Black Friday and Cyber Monday, you might wonder how your Christmas shopping has avoided being called by its real name: Treats For Me Day. Apparently (according to Spirit of Christmas Fair researchers), a whopping 7 out of 10 people buy presents at this time of year that they then keep for themselves.
Astonished? Not really. The truth about present buying and giving is that it’s a murky business involving worthiness calculations, undercurrents of guilt, surges of generosity, countersurges of thriftiness, overthinking (will she think the cookery book is a hint?), underthinking (did I give them one of these last year?) – and that’s just the admissible stuff.
What really informs our gift buying decisions is something no one wants to admit, even to ourselves. Here are some of the things we are guilty of:
Regifting
We all have a cupboard of unwanted presents waiting for the person who just might appreciate them. These are a mixture of undesirable weird things (coasters, strawberry body butter, massage rollers), and desirable luxuries, like Jo Malone bath oil. No disrespect to Jo Malone, but what can happen is that you get given some and you think: “Oooh lovely, lime basil and mandarin! Too lovely to waste on me, I’m only half way through the Matey. Much better to put it in the present drawer.”
List-ticking presents
We’re talking about scarves, box sets, anything the recipient might be surprised to receive like a coffee-table book about the Bauhaus. We’ve all got to the point during a Christmas shopping trip when we think, “Sod it, I’m getting this! I have to tick something off my list, this is in the price range and who doesn’t like popcorn makers?” However much effort you have put in prior to this moment, this is the Christmas equivalent of garage flowers on your wedding anniversary.
Bulk buying
These are the presents you buy early on, thinking they will do for someone like the dog sitter. You don’t like them especially, they’re just C-division gifts: gloves, say, or very small olive bowls. Often you end up having to supplement them with another present, because you know in your gut that it lacks imagination, or any connection to the person you are giving it to.
Present triage
This is when you have three categories of present – the people you are trying to find really good thoughtful presents for; the people you are trying to find adequate presents for; and the people who will just get what they get. This is very bad practice, the darkest of present buying secrets, and if you are in the habit of favouring one group over another you will be found out eventually (eg the day after Boxing Day when someone unexpectedly turns up wearing the fab furry collar you bought them when you spotted it on holiday months ago, while someone else in the room got a book about mazes).
Buying presents that we would want
Your mum doesn’t want silk pyjamas, your dad doesn’t want Eau Sauvage (he wants an ultra light down gilet from Uniqlo), and does your partner really want a set of Japanese kitchen knives as personally recommended by Giorgio Locatelli? Nope.
Upselling
Eg, putting the cheap earrings you bought in the market in Spain into a pink velvet pouch you happened to have lying around. Where’s the harm!
Responsibility dumping
As in, firing off questions: “What does she want… where from… what colour” – a habit particularly prevalent among feckless godparents. It may seem like a good idea (you don’t want to get the size wrong), but the parent may easily hear: “You do the work so I don’t have to.” Try not to ask again how old your godchild is.
Happy shopping.
Putting cheap earrings into a pink velvet pouch you happened to have lying around. Where’s the harm!