Making a melodrama out of a very modern romance
Playboy prince marries American divorcee. Where have we heard that before? With the world abuzz at news of Prince Harry’s engagement to Meghan Markle, the airing of Wallis: the Queen That Never Was (Channel 5) was fortuitously timely. If only this production hadn’t been so cheerless.
Docudrama is rarely a format that works – the re-enactments are invariably cheesy, often undermining the credibility of the factual elements.
This feature-length film used Wallis Simpson’s diaries and letters to piece together her life. History may have branded her a gold-digger, but here she was painted as victim, not villain. Following in the footsteps of Faye Dunaway, Joely Richardson, Gillian Anderson and Andrea Riseborough – no pressure, then – Georgina Rich was the latest actress to play Mrs Simpson. Despite a mask-like blank face and a shaky southern accent, she did her best with a cumbersome script.
The male performances, however, made Rich look Oscar-winning. Alex Avery played Edward VIII as a tantrum-prone toddler, stamping his foot and threatening to abdicate if he wasn’t allowed to watch Peppa Pig. David Wilkinson’s George V was even worse. Both actors conveyed emotion by merely cranking up the volume. There was so much shouting, it was like a sepia-tinted edition of Masterchef.
This felt like a melodramatic afternoon biopic plonked into prime time, and nowhere near in the same league as Netflix’s sumptuous series The Crown. It was more reminiscent of Channel 4 parody The Windsors. Between the reconstructions, talking heads including Nicky Haslam, Anne de Courcy and Lady Colin Campbell popped up to fill in the historical gaps.
When stage veteran Linda Marlowe took over to play the Duchess of Windsor in her twilight years – a frail widow suffering from dementia, endlessly reliving her past – it became rather affecting. Unfortunately, by then, most viewers would have long since nodded off or lost patience. I just hope that the new royal happy couple weren’t watching. Ms Markle might have found her feet getting chilly.
‘Arise, Queen Mary of Cakes.” Mary Berry’s Country House Secrets (BBC One) saw the hostess take a trip to Scone Palace near Perth, the crowning place of Scottish kings, where she sat on the ancient Stone of Destiny for a mock coronation (the artefact was last used in 1953 for the Queen). Let’s hope that neither of them got a soggy bottom.
The Dowager Countess of dough continued her tour of stately piles with this second episode, where she helped Lord and Lady Mansfield prepare for one of their renowned dinner parties, followed by a traditional ceilidh. “I’m a bit heavy-footed,” said Berry modestly. “I’ll look after you on the dance floor,” promised William, the future Earl of Mansfield. And with that, Berry gave him one of her trademark winks – how we’ve missed those in this year’s Great British Bake Off tent.
As she toured the stately home, the 82-year-old probed for blue-blooded gossip at every turn: she was told how Queen Victoria, on a visit there in 1842, would sit with her back to the fire, how Princess Margaret mixed her own gin and tonic and that the Queen Mother loved duck but disliked salmon. Berry was a little too deferential during these scenes, but much more natural when she ventured out and about with the staff.
After warming her posterior on the kitchen’s vast Victorian range, Berry made cock-a-leekie soup with Jean Stewart, who had been housekeepercum-“butleress” for 40 years. She then went salmon-fishing on the silvery Tay with head ghillie Iain Kirk. As sprightly Berry leapt into his boat, the Earl noted: “Very brave when you consider she’s decidedly over 21.”
Berry also partook in the regal pastime of deerstalking with longserving gamekeeper Roddy Mcintosh. Gleefully taking a wee dram from his hip-flask, she said: “If I blew and you lit a match, it’d go up.” Instead of Bake Off’s cutaway shots of well-endowed squirrels, here we had rutting Highland cattle. Finally, she donned her mother’s Wilson tartan sash for a bit of a boogie. “What fun to be reeling again”, she twinkled.
This series has a rather featherlight format, falling midway between cookery show and popular history. However, Berry carries it off with her engaging enthusiasm and charm – all rakish Fedoras, Barbour jackets and impish grins. Who could resist?