Mood boost
The rise of the ‘menopause retreat’
‘Hands up who’s had hot flushes? Sleeplessness? Mood swings?” A flurry of arms dart upwards. The roll-call of symptoms continues: “Forgetfulness? Achy bones?” More arms.
I am in the southern Spanish mountains sitting around a table in a rambling farmhouse, surrounded by a group of women; all at different stages of the menopause, the majority straddling the age of 50.
They bring tales of hectic lives, and the challenges of balancing work and children. Lian is a film-maker from Holland, now running a charity for Syrian refugees; Claire manages a chain of pubs in Somerset, while Jane owns a personal fitness business in London. These women are busy, and they are tired. More than that, they are reporters from the battleground of their bodies – suffering from a raft of symptoms that are either misunderstood, misrepresented or simply shrugged off.
A Woman’s Hour study earlier this year found that 48per cent of women believe the menopause has a negative impact on their mental health and mood. A quarter said it made them want to stay at home, with a further 23per cent reporting it reduced their enjoyment of life.
And that’s when they are clued-up: the study also revealed that more than 70per cent of women didn’t have a strong understanding of the menopause, which led to some being unaware of the effects it would have on their physical and mental health.
Put simply, too many women are still suffering in embarrassed silence.
“I just cried all the time,” recalls Claire, now 54. “My kids thought I was losing it. I suddenly couldn’t drink anymore, not even a glass, and my moods were getting darker and darker.” “I’m either grumpy or weeping,” agrees 51-year-old Polly. “I shock and scare myself with how snappy I am. Every day is made up of a ‘what did I just say?!’ It’s hard to know what to do.”
What’s more, studies have shown that at least half of women have reported finding work difficult due to their symptoms, with around 10per cent giving it up all together as a result.
The effects of menopause add up to more than the odd hot flush – with many experiencing symptoms as varied as chills, sleep problems, mood changes, weight gain and thinning hair. News last month that a team at Imperial College London has developed a drug to stop hot flushes within three days, that will undoubtedly have many women of a certain age punching the air with excitement – before reaching for a fan.
That such development is deemed so exciting it demonstrates just why this group of 10 women from across the UK and Europe have gathered in Spain for a “hormonal balance” retreat – the first of its kind aimed at helping women navigate the confusing, and often crushing symptoms of “the change”. Currently the retreat runs twice a year, and there’s a day course offered in London, while across the UK, non-profit Menopause Cafés have been springing up over the past year from Hampshire to Edinburgh – meetups that encourage women to discuss their experiences in a confidential environment filled with like-minded people.
“I have turned into a raving banshee around the time of the month”, says 49-year-old retreat owner Rosie, who started the courses in response to her own experience with the menopause.
Murmurs of recognition bounce around the room; other guests join in with their accounts of “exhaustion”, “walking through fog” and “dark moods”. Fifty-three year-old Jane cannot believe “the conspiracy of silence” that surrounds this time of life.
“My libido went through the floor,” she explains, “and my husband thought I didn’t fancy him anymore. So many health professionals couldn’t tell me what was wrong. When a GP finally said it was the menopause, I was so relieved at finding out the reason, I wept.”
For her, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) was the salvation – although many women avoid taking it due to fears over its reported links to breast cancer. For most here, the holistic path of nutrition, yoga and self-care is the approach of choice.
But whatever our experiences, sharing them without embarrassment ushers in relief, laughter and lightness. For me, 42 and not yet menopausal, tales of sheer exhaustion from colleagues following nights spent throwing sheets off and windows open were encouragement enough to find out how I might prepare myself.
According to the NHS, the average age a UK woman will go through the menopause is 51, yet the symptoms we hear about most often generally occur during the perimenopause – the years running up to the end of a woman’s period, when the ovaries gradually decrease their hormone production, most notably oestrogen. The pituitary gland, responsible for producing reproductive hormones, senses this drop, and tries to spur on the ovaries. This results in erratic hormonal fluctuations – a surge in oestrogen, revving the body up, and spikes of progesterone, which slows it down.
Lelly is 55 and has been teaching yoga, a key part of the retreat, for nearly 20 years, finding that it “regulates breathing, reduces stress and balances our endocrine and nervous system”.
Even she, however, was not immune to perimenopausal symptoms. “I didn’t know anything about the menopause until I started to get disturbed sleep, when I hit 48,” she says. Hot flushes started while I was teaching. I’d also start forgetting things – ‘Did I get them to do that stretch?’
“It was embarrassing. And then the achy joints – I couldn’t believe it. I was a yoga teacher with achy joints.”
As well as seeking advice for her diet, Lelly set about focusing on postures that could help – ones that inform the retreat’s classes. The morning session is made up of dynamic postures – Downward Dog, Plank, Triangle Pose, while come evening, we undertake Yin yoga, a series of calming postures. Lelly focuses on body parts relevant to the menopause: the kidneys, “because they’re connected to the adrenals that work with stress and anxiety”, and hip stretches designed to help the gallbladder, practising forward bends that have a “cooling and calming effect through stretching the back of the neck and applying acupressure to the thyroid”.
A close eye is kept on our nutrition, too: kale is put into salads, superfoods are sprinkled on to homemade buckwheat granola, and teas are made from various combinations of herbs, each serving a different need.
Some rules are as you’d expect – ditch sugars, artificial sweeteners, refined processed carbohydrates and artificial fats, and supplement these with increased veg, particularly the cruciferous and brightly coloured kind to boost liver function.
Grass-fed organic meat features high on the nutritionist’s list of useful proteins, which help to balance blood sugar levels, as does quinoa, beans, lentils and eggs.
As a week of feasting, bending, and rest draws to a close, tales of sweats and sleeplessness have given way to ones of hope and acceptance.
“The menopause can be hell,” volunteers Georgia, “but once you’re through it, you’ll feel like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis.”
Claire nods in agreement, “this period of my life now feels like it’s about me.”
‘Once through it, you’ll feel like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis’