Corbyn still keeping his miracle solution secret

On the whole, it was probably a bit late to call for a vote on the weekend’s airstrikes on Syria – missiles are notoriously difficult to unfire – but yesterday, MPS did at least get to question the Prime Minister on her decision.

In a statement to the Commons, Theresa May explained no fewer than five times that the strikes had been designed solely to degrade President Assad’s chemical weapons capability, nothing more. Another five times, she said that Russia was blocking UN attempts to carry out a proper investigation in Syria. Perhaps she was hoping that, if she repeated the message enough times, it would eventually get through to Jeremy Corbyn.

If so, she was wasting her breath. First, the Labour leader said Mrs May should be accountable to Parliament, not “the whims of the US president” (Tories cried “Shame!”; Mrs May rolled her eyes). Most of Mr Corbyn’s reply, though, was spent telling Mrs May that she could bring about “an immediate ceasefire” in Syria if only she would use “diplomatic means”. She should, he sniffed, “take a diplomatic lead… embark on a renewed diplomatic effort… This means engaging…”

For some reason, however, Mr Corbyn did not reveal what exactly these miraculous “diplomatic means” were. Which was a shame, because no doubt Mrs May – and the diplomats involved in the many previous failed rounds of peace talks – would have been eager to hear them.

As has become traditional in debates about foreign policy, some of the strongest criticisms of Mr Corbyn came from his own MPS.

“Would the Prime Minister agree,” scowled Chris Leslie (Lab, Nottingham East), “that those who would turn a blind eye, who would do nothing in pursuit of some ‘moral high ground’” – the words dripped with disdain – “should also be held accountable?” Tories roared their approval. Mr Corbyn stared long-sufferingly into the middle distance.

Mike Gapes (Lab, Ilford South) sought to remind “the Right Honourable member for Islington North” – in other words, his leader – that Labour had “a long-standing and noble tradition of supporting humanitarian intervention”. Again Tories roared. Mr Corbyn could be seen scribbling furiously in a notebook. What he’d written, I’m afraid I couldn’t make out.

(“To do: order Momentum to launch ‘humanitarian intervention’ against back benches.”)

Still, at least one MP leapt to Mr Corbyn’s side. Laura Smith (Lab, Crewe & Nantwich) snorted that Mrs May had only joined in the air strikes because Donald Trump had “instructed” her to.

The look on Mrs May’s face. She stood up, fixed Ms Smith with an unblinking glare… and said nothing. For 10 whole seconds. Just glared. Her eyes blazed with fury. At long last, she spoke. “I took this decision,” she said, slowly and icily, “because I thought it was the right thing to do.”

The sheer, burning hostility. If we hadn’t had a master peacekeeper like Mr Corbyn in the room, I’d have been genuinely worried.