Like the plague…

The instant success of the comparison of Ukip to the Black Death, memorably launched on air yesterday morning by the party’s general secretary, Paul Oakley, has left rival parties scrabbling for their own unlikely similes. The Conservatives are considering the similitude of a seabass concealed beneath a seat on a budget airline flight: inimitable and impossible to ignore. For Labour, a popular comparison is a railway replacement bus on a wet bank holiday: equal opportunities for the many not the few. The Liberal Democrats are having trouble agreeing; Novichok was winning as a globalist concept until challenged by the European oak processionary caterpillar: apparently aimless but capable of leaving an indelible mark. As for the Greens, don’t ask – but it is green.