How to throw a right royal party
You don’t have to be in Windsor to feel wedding fever – here’s how to have much more fun at home. By Rosa Silverman
First things first: if you’ve received an invitation to the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, you can stop reading now. Everyone else, listen up: you have several options for how to spend tomorrow and you must pick one. The first is to hotfoot it to Windsor and elbow your way through the crowds in the hope of glimpsing something – anything at all, really. (A pigeon that might well have flown over the happy couple? That will do.) At the very least you’ll be able tell the grandchildren you were (sort of) there.
A second option is to ignore the whole fandango and take cover beneath a duvet until the thing is over.
The third, and in our opinion best, option is to throw yourself wholeheartedly into the festive spirit of the day, but from the comfort of your own home, by hosting a Royal wedding watch party.
So draw up a quick guest list, send out some last-minute Whatsapp invitations and get planning the royal wedding bash of the year. (OK, month: Princess Eugenie’s getting married in October. Don’t worry, you can reuse the bunting.) If you’re short on inspiration, here’s how to do it:
The timings
Yes, it’s the weekend, but set the alarm early. The BBC starts broadcasting its coverage from 9am and ITV from 9.25am, and you don’t want to miss a single second of pundits playing for time as they speculate on what might happen, shortly before it does or doesn’t actually happen.
The televised warm-up chat is all-important, as it will give your guests a chance to settle in and exchange pleasantries before the serious business of watching the wedding commences at noon.
The food
How about marrying the respective cuisines of the bride and groom in some kind of crazy, California-meets-british-nursery-style mash-up? Meghan is said to enjoy such West Coast staples as sushi, fish tacos, quinoa and acai bowls (nope, we’re not sure either). Harry was brought up on the likes of cottage pie and bananas and custard. Few of your guests will thank you for a cottage pie and quinoa breakfast so don’t feel you must stick to the theme too literally. Use it, rather, as a jumping-off point. Alternatively, if you have Americans among your guests, just serve them cucumber sandwiches and scones and pretend we eat them here the whole time.
The booze
Got a big budget? Why not shell out for Bollinger, the official supplier of champagne to the British court? Slightly less cash to splash? Meghan named her now defunct lifestyle blog, The Tig, after tasting, enjoying, and presumably mispronouncing, Italian Tignanello wine. Impress your guests by both serving it and knowing how to say it (teen-ya-nell-o).
If it’s talking points you’re after, of course, you could always order in a limited edition, hand-crafted wooden “treasure chest” containing pre-mixed cans of Harry’s favourite Mahiki cocktail: coconut rum with pineapple and lime. Yours for just £19.50 each and available through Deliveroo. A word of caution: unless they’re seasoned drinkers, your guests may wish to pace themselves. The coverage continues until mid-afternoon, and you don’t want a right royal mess by the end of it.
The decor
Red, white and blue is your obvious colour scheme, referencing both the Union flag and the stars and stripes. So channel those VE Day vibes and string up the bunting, if you’ve not left it too late to get your hands on some – parts of the country were reporting a shortage yesterday. Over in Windsor, hand-picked blooms from wild flower meadows will line aisles, pews, tables and halls. Why not pop down to your local wild flower meadow and pick a few posies for your own gathering? (NB: check what the law has to say about this first. There are bound to be rules on this kind of thing.)
The merch
From commemorative plates to commemorative mugs, retailers have not wasted a single opportunity to cash in on what should be a mini bonanza for Britain.
The wedding could reportedly give an £80million boost to the British economy, and as a party host or hostess, you too can do your bit by buying up some of the accessories that have poured off production lines since Meghan said “yes”. If a glut of Harry and Meghan paper dolls and cupcake toppers end up in landfill, on your head be it. That’s all we’re saying.
The dress code
The marriage of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge was celebrated with, among other things, a lot of cardboard masks of their faces. But if you feel such things are so 2011, how about tasteful tiaras or wedding hats? You could even extend the transatlantic theme to the dress code: Hollywood meets Home Counties? Prince meets showgirl? Plenty of ideas there to start you off. You’re welcome.
The games
Royal wedding bingo can be played as a drinking game or just for the joy of it, but we’ll assume you’re opting for the alcoholic version. Every time you successfully identify a guest before the TV commentator does, you drink. Every time you spot the Queen, you drink. Every time the word “suits” is mentioned, in whatever context, you drink. Every time someone alludes to the drama of this week’s “Markle debacle”, you drink. You get the idea …