I can’t imagine a wedding without Dad
Ibroke a lot of traditions on my wedding day. The typical father-ofthe-bride speech was, by request of the bride herself, a father-and-mother-of-the-bride speech. Instead of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, my husband and I walked out to the sound of Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard. Early on, the wedding party had swapped their formal footwear for some specially commissioned commemorative Converse. But there was one tradition I was especially keen to observe. My dad walked me down the aisle to the altar, where my husband-to-be was waiting for me.
We now know that Meghan Markle’s father, Thomas, will not be walking her down the aisle. In a statement, she said: “I have always cared for my father and hope he can be given the space he needs to focus on his health.”
Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland, may now do the honours instead. Queen Victoria performed the service for two of her daughters, so Ms Ragland would be in good company.
But … but … while I’m sure Meghan would be delighted to have her mother by her side, I suspect it will still be hard for her to know that she’ll spend such an important day without her father, who obviously means so much to her. When women plan their weddings, they occupy our imagination in a very visual way. When I got engaged and thought about how it would feel to take such significant steps, I, like most brides, pictured having Dad beside me.
For a strong and independent woman, the idea of being given away may seem like an outdated concept. Women are not a prize to be won, and, in my own case, my husband and I had been living together for long enough for him to know I was an adult woman with her own career, friends and life.
But my father is also the man who has been there every single significant moment. He waited with bated breath while I opened exam results, he sat in the front row during some seriously challenging school plays, he moved me into my first grown-up flat, then out of it a few months later. My wedding day was his big day, too. It was right he should have a starring role.
Every wedding is as different as the people getting married. Ultimately, it isn’t just about the love that exists between the people saying “I do”. It’s a day for every person who helped to bring those people together.
Dad is the man who taught me how to love and be loved – as the song goes. That knowledge is what led me to my husband, the love of my life. Having Dad lead me down the aisle wasn’t just about sticking to a tradition, it was about having him by my side to guide me, as I made the most important promise that I’ll ever keep.