They’re back! Short on originality but big on ponytails and tweed

The day began with Brexit questions. What a “pleasant surprise”, drawled the SNP’S Peter Grant, to see David Davis still in his place.

Mr Davis smiled. What a pleasant surprise, he replied, to see anyone from the SNP in the Commons at all.

Yes, less than 24 hours after their mass walkout, the Nats were back. Both the one who’d been expelled for a day (Ian Blackford, Ross, Skye & Lochaber) and the three dozen who’d expelled themselves in solidarity. Since the walkout, the SNP claimed to have gained 5,000 members. Not that that had been their goal all along, obviously. Just a happy accident.

The official reason for the walkout was Brexit. According to the SNP, the Tories were plotting to use Brexit as a cunning excuse to limit the powers of the Scottish parliament. Yesterday in the Commons, this was wearily denied by David Mundell, the Scotland Secretary. For those unfamiliar with Mr Mundell, he is a grey, rounded, furry little creature, with an air of eternal long-suffering. He looks a bit like a koala: a koala sinking into its favourite chair after a hard day at the gum tree, only for its children to launch into a violent squabble over who ate the last eucalyptus leaf.

After Brexit, sighed Mr Mundell, the Scottish parliament would have more powers. Not very optimistically, he said he hoped the day’s debate would take place “in a spirit of respect”. The SNP groaned and muttered.

Speaking for the first time since his expulsion, Mr Blackford proceeded to recite a list of Mr Mundell’s myriad crimes against Scotland. The Secretary of State, he cried, had “totally shafted Scotland and the people of Scotland”, “failed to protect Scottish interests”, “plunged Scotland into constitutional crisis”, and “silenced Scotland”. If Mr Mundell had “any dignity and selfrespect”, shouted Mr Blackford in conclusion, he must “now resign!”

“YEEEARRRRRGGGHHH!” cheered the rest of the SNP, applauding furiously. For people who claim to have been silenced, they do make a remarkable amount of noise.

In the ensuing debate, almost every single one of the nationalists spoke – and repeated more or less exactly what Mr Blackford had said. Pete Wishart (Perth & N Perthshire) said Mr Mundell had “let democracy down”, Tommy Sheppard (Edinburgh East) ordered him to “step aside”, while Ronnie Cowan (Inverclyde) claimed that his “failure to show respect to the Scottish parliament” had caused No voters to “flock to the indy cause”.

For all their repetitiveness, they were entertaining, if only to look at. As always, Chris Law (Dundee West) stood out. It’s not every day you see a 6ft 6in man wearing both a ponytail and a full set of tweeds. He looks like a roadie for Metallica on a grouse shoot.

“This is a poor excuse for a Parliament,” thundered Stewart Mcdonald (Glasgow South). But on this occasion, at least, his party didn’t walk out of it. I’m sure Mr Mundell felt honoured.