There’s a vote on Heathrow expansion – so Boris takes flight
For MPS, Twitter offers glorious opportunities. It enables them to spread their message without having to go through the middleman of the media. They can communicate quickly and easily with constituents.
And, most importantly of all, it’s the perfect forum for taunting colleagues in public. “Great to arrive back in the UK at Luton Airport in time for the match today and to vote against Heathrow expansion tomorrow,” tweeted Greg Hands (Con, Chelsea & Fulham) on Sunday. “I wouldn’t want to be abroad for either of those.”
“Great you’re back Greg!” replied Justine Greening (Con, Putney). “I wouldn’t want any long-term MP campaigners against Heathrow expansion to miss their chance to represent their community.”
These were, of course, subtle digs at Boris Johnson, the Foreign Secretary, who, after years of noisily opposing Heathrow expansion, missed yesterday’s vote. Had he been present, he would have been obliged either to vote in favour, along with the rest of the Cabinet, or resign. As it turned out, he suddenly discovered that he had a crucial meeting 5,000 miles away with Afghanistan’s deputy foreign minister.
He must have been disappointed to have missed the big vote. Still, a man must do his duty. The debate itself was fractious. MPS for constituencies near Heathrow were in general against; MPS for constituencies safely out of earshot were more likely in favour.
Labour’s position, meanwhile, was vague. Officially, they were against the Government’s plans, but hadn’t told their MPS to vote against, for fear of resignations from shadow ministers. “We’re not against expansion, we’re just against this option for expansion,” mumbled Andy Mcdonald, the shadow transport secretary. He sounded tired and glum. Mind you, he always does. He could make Happy Birthday sound like a funeral march. Speaking for the Tory rebels, Mr Hands reminded the House he felt so strongly that he had resigned from the Government over it. (What a wonderful day for headlinewriters that was. Hands Off; Hands Free; Look, No Hands.)
“This is not just a debate about Heathrow, important though that is,” he declared. “It’s also a debate about being true to your word… It’s about integrity, and the pledges we make to our electors…” I believe this is what we in journalism are obliged to call a “thinly veiled attack”. Labour backbenchers certainly enjoyed it. “Where’s Boris?” they hooted.
One man who was firmly behind Heathrow expansion, though, was Michael Fabricant, the tirelessly flamboyant Conservative MP for Lichfield, Staffs. “Never mind a third runway,” he parped, “I would support a fourth and a fifth.”
Imagine if there were votes on those. Mr Johnson’s diary secretary would face some serious overtime.