Wine could save me from dementia? I’ll drink to that

How reassuring to learn that a few glasses of wine a day staves off dementia. It also helps pass the time and “life’s leaden metal into gold transmute”, but that’s by the by.

According to French research published in the British Medical Journal, those who don’t drink in middle age have a 47per cent higher risk of the degenerative disease.

If that’s not cause to crack open a bottle, I don’t know what is – although I’m not sure any of us is quite ready to embrace the (sacré…) blue wine that has just been launched in France, to distinct froideur.

But – there’s always a wine butt – the nectar of the gods must be imbibed in dreary moderation or there’s a heightened risk of cancer. The optimum amount is 175ml a day (about half of your enormous wine goblets that could fit a medium-sized kitten).

Hence, before you invest in a case of Château Margaux for medical reasons, be sure to upgrade your glasses to antique Bohemia crystal or highperformance “organoleptic” Riedel, to make the experience feel celebratory. Then you can raise a toast knowing that Alzheimer’s is at bay for another day.

Many an intoxicating verse has been penned to the glories of the grape. My favourite by far is “Wine: a vindication”, by Tang dynasty poet Li Bai (701-762).

If heaven loved not the wine, a Wine Star would not be in heaven;

If earth loved not the wine, a Wine Spring would not be on the earth.

Since heaven and earth love the wine, need a tippling mortal be ashamed?

The transparent wine, I hear, has the soothing virtue of a sage,

While the turgid is rich, they say, as the fertile mind of the wise.

Both the sage and the wise were drinkers, why seek for peers among gods and goblins?

Three cups open the grand door to bliss; take a jugful, the universe is yours.

Such is the rapture of the wine, that the sober shall never inherit.

I should point out that other forms of alcohol are also available. But, frankly, why would you bother?