Midlife guide to...

Is this the latest technical challenge on Bake Off? “Now make 12 identical wholemeal Janteloven”?

Not exactly. It really has nothing to do with cake. Rather, it’s the latest Scandi term that we should all hop-to and begin to live by.

But I already tried

hygge and it turns out it’s actually quite hard to get anything done by candlelight, and all that hot chocolate was making me put on weight.

Don’t worry, you don’t need to go and bulk-buy grey linen and stockpile tea lights. Janteloven (or The Law of Jante) isn’t so much a lifestyle choice as a way of thinking – about yourself and your place in society.

This sounds terribly worthy. At least with hygge there was lots of cake and sitting down in front of box sets.

It is a bit, I’m afraid. It’s an ancient set of rules that dictate how you should behave. Scandinavian children grow up learning about the 10 commandments of janteloven, which are all about discouraging arrogance or ambition. Thou shalt not think you are anything special, is the first. Pretty inspiring stuff, isn’t it?

“Thou shalt not think you are anything special?” That’s a bit rich coming from the Scandis, isn’t it? They seem to be beating the rest of the world in most areas.

But maybe that’s why. Perhaps Scandinavians enjoy such successful, equal societies because they stick to these rules and never get too big for their boots. Their CEOS socialise with the whole workforce, their royals (pictured) are pretty down to earth, the rich live modestly, gender equality is much greater, and arrogance is frowned upon.

OK, but the problem is, the more Scandi I become, the more smug I feel.

Fair enough, better do away with some of your Ikea furniture to balance it out.