Battered and bruised, but the brave face endures

Well, at least someone seemed to be enjoying himself. “No deal is not my working assumption,” purred Jean-claude Juncker, the president of the European Commission, “but should it happen, we are prepared. The Commission has prepared in detail for all the consequences of a no deal. So don’t worry. Be happy.”

Looking somewhat less carefree was Theresa May.

At the end of the EU’S summit in Austria, the Prime Minister gave a brief press conference. Her day had not gone well. Donald Tusk, the president of the European Council, had just announced to the world that Mrs May’s plan for Brexit “will not work”.

For the Prime Minister, it was a public humiliation. At the weekend, she’d declared that MPS would be forced to choose between two options: support her Chequers plan, or face no deal. Thoughtful of the EU, I suppose, to save them the time.

Mrs May stalked into the press room. She looked pale. Perhaps it was just the contrast created by the dazzlingly bright red jacket she was wearing.

Or perhaps not.

Still, if we know one thing about Mrs May, it’s that no matter how bad things get for her, she has a matchless ability to put on a brave face and act as though all is going to plan – even as the light bulb blows, the door falls from its hinges, and the lumps of plaster flutter down from the ceiling like snow.

She spoke briskly. She had, she said, a “frank” meeting with President Tusk. She had “always said these negotiations were going to be tough”. But she was, she claimed, “confident that we will reach a deal”.

And her Chequers plan, she maintained, was still “the only serious and credible proposition on the table”.

It was poignant, more than anything. Here she was, gamely insisting her plan was still in rude health, minutes after the EU had officially pronounced it officially dead.

After a little under 10 minutes of questions, she scurried off – leaving us to wonder, once again, what she really thinks of Brexit. Does she curse it?

Clearly it’s made her time as Prime Minister a misery. But on the other hand, of course, if it hadn’t been for Brexit, she wouldn’t have become Prime Minister in the first place.

Poor Mrs May. She’s become the living embodiment of that wise old saying: “Be careful what you wish for.” So what now?

Back to Britain, to prepare for the Tories’ annual conference.

A conference where she must face the displeasure of her party members. A conference where Boris Johnson is expected to lead the attack on her approach to Brexit.

What a prospect.

Then again: according to the official conference agenda, believe it or not, she intends to use her big speech to set out her plans for the general election campaign of 2022.

Perhaps some of Jean-claude Juncker’s optimism has rubbed off on her, after all.