Turn your cat vegan and risk the law’s claws
CAT owners have been advised they could risk breaking the law if they force their pets into veganism.
One in six pet food suppliers has branched out into vegan or vegetarian foodstuffs for animals as ethically concerned owners embrace the trend.
But yesterday the RSPCA said cats could become seriously ill if given exclusively plant-based diets and owners could run the risk of getting a criminal record. A spokesman said while dogs were omnivores and could theoretically survive on a vegetarian diet, cats were carnivores and needed meat.
“Under the Animal Welfare Act the law requires an owner to ensure all the pet’s needs are met. This includes a healthy diet, as well as suitable living conditions and protection from pain, suffering, injury and disease,” he said. Owners face a hefty fine or even a prison sentence if convicted under the Act.
Marge Chandler, a clinical nutritionist, said: “Feeding an inappropriate or incomplete diet that doesn’t provide the animal with the nutrients it needs is a welfare issue.”
The warning came after the National Pet Show in Birmingham this month showcased the latest non-meat options and pet shops reported rises in demand for gluten- and grain-free pet food.
Damian Eadie, of plant-based pet food specialist Benevo, denied there were any health issues. He added that vets who disagreed with him were “suffering with an unshakable ideology”.
Buoyed by the soaring popularity of veganism, animal rights activists are on the march. This week, Peta (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) requested that the village of Wool in Dorset change its name to “Vegan Wool”. The organisation, which opposes shearing, explained that the new name would “promote kindness to sheep”, and encourage the public to switch to vegan materials made from plant-based fibres.
Sadly, Peta’s wish looks unlikely to be granted, not least because the village’s name has nothing to do with sheep, and in fact derives from the ancient Saxon word for water.
Undeterred, activists intend to continue their campaign elsewhere.
Sport
“It’s disappointing to see a Premier League football club endorse the barbaric butchery trade,” said a spokesman for Peta. “We have therefore asked West Ham to change their name to West Nut Cutlet, West Sweet Potato Falafel, or West Linda Mccartney Meat-free Sausages.”
Famous faces
Activists have approached a number of public figures to help in the promotion of vegan lifestyles. Presenter Richard Bacon has been asked to become Richard Tofu, weatherman Michael Fish to become Michael Quorn, and Lib Dem MP Norman Lamb to become Norman Textured Soy Protein. In addition, the Sixties rock group Cream will now be known as Dairy-free Substitute, while the Psychedelic Furs will become the Psychedelic Beech Tree Fibres.
Heritage
“The Royal Family have a crucial role to play in changing public attitudes,” said Peta in a statement. “To that end we have written to the Queen, asking that her Beefeaters be renamed Bean-munchers.”
In an interview on Thursday, John Mcdonnell – Jeremy Corbyn’s closest political ally – announced that he could never be friends with a Conservative. Across the country, members of the Conservative Party greeted the news with despair.
“I can’t believe I’ll never get to be friends with John Mcdonnell,” said Sir Hugo Massingberd-gannet, 74, of Little Dumpling, Hampshire. “Ever since the day in 2003 when Mr Mcdonnell declared that the IRA should be “honoured” for its “bombs and bullets and sacrifice”, I’ve thought: ‘What a charming, delightful gentleman he must be. How dearly I wish I could get to know him.’ Yet now the goblet of hope has been dashed from my grasp. I’m inconsolable.” “It’s heartbreaking,” said 62-year-old Marjorie Grebe, of Lower Throbbing, Shropshire. “When Mr Mcdonnell said he wished he could go back in time to assassinate Margaret Thatcher, and told a rally of cheering Leftwingers that his friends wanted to lynch Esther Mcvey, I was touched by his decency, thoughtfulness, and gallantry. I even invited him to come to our annual Conservative Association dinner and give a talk entitled ‘You People Disgust Me. Physically Disgust Me. Just Look at You, You Evil Bloodsucking Tory Scum. Come the Revolution, You’ll Be Shipped Straight Off to the Salt Mines, the Lot of You. I Mean It. You Are Literally Worse Than Hitler, Mussolini and Blair Combined.’ But he never even replied. We were so disappointed.”
Meanwhile, in the village of Upper Crumpet, West Sussex, the local Conservative Club has cancelled plans for a special John Mcdonnell Day, during which party members would have dressed as John Mcdonnell, sung songs composed in honour of John Mcdonnell, performed a play celebrating the life of John Mcdonnell, and eaten homemade cakes decorated with the face of John Mcdonnell.
“We’re very sorry that Mr Mcdonnell feels this way,” said Conservative Party chairman Brandon Lewis. “Apparently he hates Tories so much that he’s ordered Labour not to field candidates in seats containing anyone who’s ever voted Conservative.”
Always dreamt of writing a novel? Worried that you’ve left it too late?
Think again. This week, the British author Anne Youngson saw her debut novel shortlisted for a major literary prize. She’s just turned 71 years old.
Mrs Youngson didn’t start writing the novel – Meet Me at the Museum
– until her retirement (she was a chief engineer for Land Rover). Yet now she’s competing with Pat Barker – the 1995 Man Booker winner – for a Costa Book Award. It’s “a myth”, she said, “that you can’t get published unless you’re gorgeous and 25.”
And she’s absolutely right. As it happens, a surprising number of great authors didn’t get published until they reached middle age.
At the younger end of the list: George Eliot, author of Middlemarch. Her debut novel, Adam Bede, came out when she was 40. William Burroughs saw his own first novel, Junkie, published at the same age. Lee Child, who writes the Jack Reacher thrillers, was first published at 42. He only started writing after being made redundant as a television executive.
The list goes on. Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer) was 44. JRR Tolkien (The Hobbit): 45. Bram Stoker (who went on to write Dracula): 50. Raymond Chandler (The Big Sleep): 51 (he only started writing after losing his job as an oil executive during the Depression). Anna Sewell (Black Beauty): 57. Daniel Defoe (Robinson Crusoe): 59.
Which takes us all the way up to Frank Mccourt, who won the Pulitzer Prize for his debut, the bestselling memoir Angela’s Ashes. He published it at the age of 66.
Every 10 years, the literary magazine Granta publishes a list of the 20 best novelists under 40. Instead, how about a list of the 20 best new novelists over 40? FOLLOW Michael Deacon on Twitter @Michaelpdeacon; READ MORE at telegraph.co.uk/opinion