Record-breaking comedy that’s just not funny
‘Same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?” “The same procedure as every year, James!” Mention this couplet to almost any northerneuropean over the age of two, and chances are they’ll collapse in alarming paroxysms of laughter; pop out for a walk around the local park, come back, and they’ll still be clutching their sides, involuntary moans of “So funny!” blurting from their lips.
These immortal lines are the hook in Dinner for One, a two-hander comedy sketch that the British author Lauri Wylie wrote for the stage. In 1963, the German television station Norddeutscher Rundfunk (NDR) recorded a performance of it, but not in German – rather, in its original English language version, albeit with a brief introduction in German. Just 18 minutes long, and recorded in a single take, it starred British comedians Freddie Frinton and May Warden – and it has become the most frequently broadcast television programme of all time.
Around Christmas and New Year, you’ll struggle to enter a household in Germany, Austria, Scandinavia, the Baltic countries or even, apparently, the Faroe Islands without stumbling across it being broadcast on national television. And yet, chances almost are that – at least until after this Sunday, when it’s being shown in the UK for the very first time, at the (ready for this?) Scottish Comedy Film Festival Slapstick Weekend – you’ll be hard-pressed to find a Briton who’s heard of it.
So, what’s so good about it? Answer: nothing. I first encountered it roughly 20 years ago when staying with the incredibly charming family of my Norwegian then-girlfriend, Kristina. Whether it was on the telly (it was around Easter, so not impossible) or they had it on video (remember those?), I can’t remember. But what I do recall is their hearty “You’ve never seen this? But it’s English! We have it every year! We love it! You’ll love it!”, followed by their palpable disappointment as I tried my damnedest, and failed abjectly, to muster a single lip-curl in its honour.
It depicts the 90th birthday of the dear, hoity-toity Miss Sophie, marbles long gone. Every year, she invites her pals Mr Pomeroy, Mr Winterbottom, Sir Toby and Admiral von Schneider to dinner. Trouble is, her pals are dead, meaning that all the guests’ chairs are empty, and her long-in-the-tooth butler,
The so-called joke wears thinner than a fascinator’s gauze with every repetition
James, has to go around the table, impersonating each of the guests and – crucially – drinking their share of booze. He is soon plastered, a state of affairs not helped by the tiger skin lying on the floor. Much slapstick ensues, with that “Same procedure?” couplet rearing its head again and again.
And again. Rest assured that if any of this sounds remotely entertaining, it sure isn’t – in fact, the whole thing is painfully unfunny, the so-called joke wearing thinner than a fascinator’s gauze with each repetition. Ironically, if you ever think you’re going to be shown it, having copious amounts of booze on the premises may be your only salvation.
‘Dinner for One’ is showing along with the Marx Brothers’ Duck Soup at 12.30pm on Sunday at the Campbeltown Picture House, as part of the Scottish Comedy Film Festival Slapstick Weekend. (campbeltown picturehouse.co.uk)