Brexit Secretary refuses to buckle under repetitive question syndrome

Stephen Barclay campaigned for Brexit. He voted for Brexit. And for the past six months he’s been Secretary of State in charge of Brexit. Weighing up the available evidence, therefore, most observers would probably conclude that, on the whole,

Mr Barclay is in favour of Brexit.

Remainer MPS, however, seem to think there’s a chance he’ll change his mind. Because yesterday, during the regular round of Brexit Questions in the Commons, they kept on and on asking Mr Barclay and his ministers whether they would agree to hold another EU referendum.

Indeed, they asked it no fewer than seven times, with only superficial differences in phrasing.

The first time the question was asked, Mr Barclay replied that no, funnily enough, he would not agree to hold another EU referendum. But this answer did not deter the second Remainer MP from asking the question again; and even though, with impressive patience, Mr Barclay gave the same answer, this did not deter the third Remainer MP from asking the question once more. Nor did it deter the fourth Remainer MP, the fifth, the sixth, or the seventh.

Brexit supporters may argue that it is not altogether out of character for Remainer MPS to keep asking a question until they get the answer they want. None the less, it was surprising to see them do it to the actual Brexit Secretary. In this particular circumstance, their chances of getting the answer they wanted were always likely to be slim.

But maybe we’re missing the point. It’s well known, after all, that during the War on Terror, the CIA attempted to extract confessions from prisoners by forcing them to listen to the same pop song on a loop for hours, days or even weeks on end.

Perhaps Remainer MPS borrowed the technique – remorselessly chipping away at Mr Barclay’s resolve through sheer force of repetition – until eventually he would break down, burst into tears, and shriek, “Yes! Yes! I give in! I’ll agree to another referendum! I’ll do anything – anything – if you’ll just stop asking me that question! I’ll give you another referendum! I’ll give you my wallet, my car, my house, my firstborn child! Just please! Please! I beg you! Stop asking me that question!”

At which point, Remainer MPS would nod and look thoughtful. Then, after a pause to allow Mr Barclay’s tears to subside, one of their number would rise to say: “Mr Speaker, we’re delighted to see the Secretary of State enthusiastically throwing his weight behind the campaign for another referendum. His passionate support is much appreciated. For the avoidance of doubt, could he just confirm that he will personally vote Remain? And that he intends to get a tattoo that reads ‘Vote Remain? And that he agrees to change his name, by deed poll, to Vote Remain?”

On this occasion, Mr Barclay bravely managed to hold out. But for how much longer?