How to be a better long-distance grandparent

As Doria flies home, Lara Crisp reveals how to shrink the miles that separate some families

Precisely five years ago, I found myself in the same situation as Meghan Markle. Minus the husband prince. And the fancy maternity wardrobe. Or the floating yoga room. OK, maybe not that similar at all. But I had just given birth (mercifully, with zero press interest) and my parents also lived on the other side of the world. While Meghan’s mum Doria Ragland flew from Los Angeles, my mum – and personal cavalry – also flew in, from South Africa, a few days before my baby’s birth. For my mum, it meant she got to spend as much time as possible with her new grandson. Two weeks later, she left knowing that, as a long-distance granny, the newborn cuddles were over and she wouldn’t get to hold him for at least another year.

On Tuesday, Doria was seen walking her dogs near her home in LA, two weeks after the birth of Master Archie. She had reportedly arrived in Britain three weeks prior to Archie’s birth, to help Meghan through the final stages of her pregnancy.

As editor of Gransnet, the social networking site for the UK’S 14million grandparents, I know all too well the heartbreak involved in being the long-distance grandparent, how isolating it can feel to miss important development milestones, be absent from birthdays and Christmases and, most importantly, not to feel that little hand in yours or have their head rest in the crook of your arm when you’re reading them a bedtime story.

So how do long-distance grandparents keep it together? What advice would they give new grandmother Doria Ragland to build a strong relationship with her grandson, even if she may not be physically available on a regular basis?

Plan your next trip

Always have a date in the diary for your next visit. Even if you’re still saving for the flight, block out February 2020, or whenever, so that you have something to look forward to and make plans for. As one grandmother put it: “I spend a fortune travelling back and forth, to the extent that my grandson told his teacher that I live at the airport!”

Have them visit you

Sometimes, it may be easier for the family to come and stay with you instead. If finances permit, offer to pay for some of your children’s travel expenses to remove any potential barriers for them.

For the grandchildren, make a little home away from home, especially if it’s their first visit. Stock up on some of their favourite foods and have a little box of toys at the ready. A great suggestion is to include a few of your own child’s old toys – children love to see what their parents played with, and it’s a great conversation starter and opportunity to talk about family connections.