The young want to save the world …but only when it suits them
Back in the day, when he was an agitprop stand-up, Ben Elton perfectly summed up the human condition.
“We’re all good socialists, aren’t we? We all believe in equality and solidarity with our fellow man and woman – until one of them comes and sits beside us on the bus.”
I thought of him when I read about the prospect of recyclable cardboard tents at Glastonbury – and then overheard the muffled conversation between my stridently vegetarian 17-year-old daughter and her friends, who are off to a (much cooler) festival in a couple of weeks.
“If everyone gets their mum to give them a tenner, we can buy a cheap tent and just leave it in the field afterwards.”
When we – by which I mean the mothers-cumpraetorian-guard – tackled these achingly “woke” teenagers about the impact on the planet of such egregious waste, we were met with hot indignation.
“Homeless people can have it. Or would you rather they slept without a tent? Your generation is awful; you trashed the Earth and colonised it and made people homeless and now you refuse to take responsibility.”
Where to begin? I’m not sure how many homeless people in rural Somerset will have their lives turned around by a £40 Amazon tent drenched in sweat, lip gloss and vodka.
I’m also not convinced I can be accused of colonial misdeeds – being Irish, I’m more on the colonised end of the oppression spectrum. As for the homeless versus pollution conundrum, I’m a bit flummoxed.
We are living, I fear, in a brave new world of convenience activism. It’s a pick-and-mix approach to green causes and social issues that sees young people pitting themselves against their parents. Until it suits them not to do so.
Cars are petrol-guzzling pollutants. Unless they need a lift.
Single-use plastic is a war crime – unless it’s to wrap their sandwiches in, because those lunch boxes from Ikea are, like, really bulky.
Consuming meat is terrible. Phoning Just
Eat for eye-wateringly overpriced avocado toast is not.
Fast-fashion is wrong, unless it’s for cheap tops. And bottoms. And sleepwear. And loungewear, obviously. Oh, and socks.
I regularly get told off for overfilling the kettle by children who can’t seem to turn off a light. When I pester them to find the torch or to track down that charger cable they borrowed, the reply is always the same; a long theatrical sigh followed by: “We can just buy a new one.”
My stout defence of reusing, recycling and repurposing falls on deaf ears.
My generation wants to save money; saving the planet is a happy by-product. A virtuous circle if ever there were one.
Generation Z, meanwhile, want to Rebel against Extinction, but only if they can get new trainers; otherwise their mental health could be seriously compromised by last year’s Adidas.
If only the young and the idealistic realised that righteous anger would be a lot more righteous if they consistently practised what they preached. They are right to be concerned about the environment, but sometimes picking a fight is less useful – and less convincing – than picking up litter.
Protesting about climate change is a human right. Dumping your tent in a field is a human wrong. follow Judith Woods on Twitter @ Judithwoods; read more at telegraph.co.uk/opinion