An F for man who proposed at his fiancee’s graduation
Backlash as boyfriend is accused of ‘hijacking’ partner’s special day by popping the question
FOR most women, a marriage proposal is a memory that they will cherish for the rest of their life.
But when Agne Banuskeviciute said yes to her husband-to-be while on stage at her graduation ceremony, it resulted in a Twitter storm that threatened to overshadow the couple’s romantic milestone.
Edgaras Averbuchas, 27, was accused of “bad form” after he proposed to his girlfriend of nine years as she was receiving her master’s degree in English from the University of Essex.
The gesture, which was filmed and posted online to celebrate their engagement, prompted an angry response from feminists who accused him of “hijacking” her special day because he is “threatened by her intellect”.
Despite the 25-year-old’s joy at the marriage proposal, Essex University has decided to remove the clip from its website because of the heavy criticism it has received.
Dr Jana Bacevic, a research associate in sociology at the University of Cambridge, wrote on Twitter: “Imagine being a man and feeling so threatened by a woman’s intellectual success that you have to force her to frame her identity/ agency in relation to you on the very day she is being celebrated for her intellect.
“Oh wait, that’s, like, 99.9 per cent men.”
Aisha Ali-khan, a core organiser of the Women’s March on London, said it “smacked of egotism”.
“This does not bode well for the relationship,” she said. “When someone craves such public attention and adulation all the time, there can only be space for one person and their ego in that relationship.”
Rebecca Reid, a writer, criticised the public nature of the proposal in an article for Grazia magazine.
“The chances are that this couple are very much in love, and that she was delighted with the proposal,” she wrote. “But what was she supposed to do if she’d wanted to say no? Break his heart in front of an entire auditorium full of strangers?
“Hijacking a big moment with something sweet or well intentioned doesn’t make it OK. Just because something is sweet or well intended doesn’t mean that it is appropriate.”
Another Twitter user complained: “Years of hard work and now we’re all supposed to be pleased for her. Not because of her achievement, but because she got her man. Bad form.”
However, the Lithuanian couple, who met as teenagers at secondary school in their home town of Vilnius, rejected the suggestion that the gesture was outdated, with Miss Banuskeviciute saying she was “extremely happy” with the “amazing proposal”.
“That’s so strange that Edgaras was getting a lot of criticism from people. I think that this day became even more beautiful with this proposal,” she said.
“I remember myself standing on the stage. I was a little bit nervous, but extremely happy.
“Then, all of a sudden I saw Edgaras coming, but everything happened so quickly that it took me some time to understand what actually happened.
“He knelt on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was in so much shock and of course I said yes. Everyone cheered and it was an amazing proposal which truly took me by surprise.”