I will prove my resilience again and again

Missing out on another World Cup brought in messages from people feeling sorry for me but there was never any expectation on my part that I must be picked

If you put all of your emphasis on an outcome, or invest all of your happiness on the decision of someone else, you are going to go through some turmoil. I would have loved to be involved in England’s World Cup squad. It has been a sevenyear goal with different challenges along the way. But I cannot be disappointed, because there was honestly no expectation from my side. It was never my right. I never thought: last season went pretty well, I should be picked.

All in all, I had two weeks in camp, then a week on my own with my sprint coach, Margot Wells, after being told I needed the extra conditioning. Then there was one final training session with gamebased drills on the Friday, led by Eddie Jones.

Later that afternoon on my way back to Cheltenham, he rang to say I would not be going to Italy. Three days later, I flew to Los Angeles and I have been here since.

I have been working very hard out here, spending plenty of time on the track. Laird Hamilton is an innovative trainer and mentor who pushes boundaries and there are elite athletes in our group such as Joakim Noah, who has played in the National Basketball Association for 12 years.

I am extremely grateful to Gloucester and Johan Ackermann for the extra time away, because I needed it. For the past seven years, I have found it hard to switch off. I

will be back at the end of this month, though, and will be excited to hit the ground running.

I received phone calls from England to inform me that I was not involved in the first warm-up against Wales and to say I was not in the 31-man squad. On the day that final group was announced, I woke up to a bunch of messages of commiseration. I did not feel like I needed them. Out here, I am with people I love and I am fine. My goal of continual improvement does not change. If anything, it makes me want to prove my resilience again and again and again.

England have everything planned down to a T. On the field, the players know how to execute plays. Off it, they are getting closer as a squad.

I was there for the trip to Devon. Five or six years ago, man, I would have hated it! These days, I know that your response is all you can control about something like that.

We all bought in and had an awesome time. My team for the challenges included Tom Curry, Sam Underhill, Piers Francis, Dan Robson and Willi Heinz.

Rugby is a sport that is open to interpretation and people form opinions about people they do not know a great deal about.

For me, all I can focus on now is how I can become better for my experience with England, as a rugby player, a leader and a person. Eddie has said that everyone needs to be ready and the best way to do that is for me to be the best version of myself at Gloucester. I have not been told where I am in the England pecking order, but if the stars align and the call does come at any point, I will be ready. I felt ready seven years ago.

A professional sportsman is lucky to have a career last 10 or 15 years. You probably cram 30 years’ worth of life lessons into that time, because environments are so intense and you meet so many people. That is the beautiful thing about sport. But you have to make sure you keep developing as a person so that you can move into the next stage of your life and be ready.

It can be painful not to achieve what you desire but not everyone gets what they want all of the time. I am fortunate that I have a platform and get asked questions about falling short, so I feel a duty to fight for people who may not have a similar platform.

It is all right not to get what you desire, but you must keep fighting. I am driven by an aspiration to achieve and the lessons along the way shape me.

So, how can I be better in the next stage of my career? I realise how lucky I am to be able to return to a great club such as Gloucester and to compete. It starts with playing there next month and continues into whatever I do when I finish in three or four years’ time.

I feel like I have had seven seasons of consistent rugby, but I can still do better.

That is my challenge for the coming season.

I have not been told where I am in the England pecking order but if the call does come at any point I will be ready

Hard work: Danny Cipriani puts his all into England training but he did not make the final squad for Japan