The backbenchers’ backstop completes 85-minute orgy of adulation with a final wind-up for stony-faced Brexiteers

Hundreds of MPS leapt to their feet and burst into applause. Labour, Lib Dems, SNP, former Tories … The only ones not to join in, it seemed, were Tory Brexiteers. Everyone else applauded with thunderous enthusiasm – and kept on doing so, for more than 30 seconds.

Strictly, MPS aren’t allowed to applaud, and the Speaker is supposed to shout them down. Yesterday,

however, he generously decided to indulge them.

After all, this was a special occasion. The person they were applauding was him.

John Bercow had just announced to the Commons that he was to stand down. On the face of it, welcome news for Tory Brexiteers, many of whom are convinced that Mr Bercow would love to help foil Brexit. But their foe had a mischievous little surprise in store. He’d chosen a very particular date for his departure. He would remain until the close of business on none other than Oct 31.

So at least someone will get to leave then.

Opposition MPS clapped and laughed. With his usual Dickensian orotundity, Mr Bercow claimed he had chosen that date purely so that the Commons had “an experienced figure” in charge for what would be a “lively” few weeks. It was hard to avoid the impression, though, that he was simply trying to wind up the Government – an impression reinforced when he declared himself “the backbenchers’ backstop”. As he said this, he glared at the Government, and jutted out his chin in defiance. He might as well have stuck out his tongue.

His speech lasted seven and a half minutes – unusually concise, for him.

But that wasn’t the end of the matter. Nowhere near. What followed was an orgy of gushing, an Oscar night of adulation, a great spuming torrent of tearful flattery, as MPS took turns to pay tribute.

“When the history books come to be written, you will be described as one of the great reforming Speakers,” quivered Hilary Benn (Lab, Leeds Central).

“Your leadership of this House has been exemplary,” breathed Dominic Grieve (ex-con, Beaconsfield). “You have been magnificent,” whinnied Barry Sheerman (Lab, Huddersfield).

On and on they cooed and gurgled. It was all praise: no mention of, for example, the allegations of bullying made against Mr Bercow in 2018, which he denies. Ten minutes slid by, then 20, 30, 40. “To those outside, Parliament can often appear out of touch,” began the Lib Dems’ Jo Swinson – before launching into a panegyric of her own.

“We’re running out of time,” murmured Mr Bercow modestly, after 45 minutes.

But the tributes still cascaded in – and who was he to halt them? After all, it’s been his mission to ensure that every backbencher is heard.

It was a full 85 minutes before the well of laudation finally ran dry. All last week, MPS protested against the suspension of Parliament, on the grounds that they had so many crucial issues to discuss. At least they managed to find time for this one.