This ‘Mad Hatter’ parliament is laughing at us Leavers
It was one of the most self-aggrandising displays I can recall seeing in public life
Imust have drifted off, because I woke in the small hours of yesterday to find the House of Commons still on the TV. Something quite extraordinary was happening. An MP was talking sense. Ivan Lewis, an Independent who deserted Labour last year over its appalling anti-semitism, was patiently explaining to his colleagues what democracy involved. It’s a shame they needed reminding.
“I am voting for a general election tonight,” said Mr Lewis. “I am willing to face the people in my constituency, unlike too many on these benches.”
Sitting next to him, Hilary Benn had a prissy, thin-lipped, sour expression. Benn and his Brexit-blocking buddies, including Tory rebels, had consulted the EU over their “Surrender Bill” before putting it to the British Parliament. A gobsmacking act of treachery in anyone’s book. But MPS don’t like being told they’re in the wrong. Especially when they are.
Later, there was mayhem in the Chamber when several MPS hurled themselves on Speaker John Bercow to prevent him leaving, holding up notices reading “Silenced”. Apparently, this was a “symbolic” protest against Parliament being prorogued.
As a parent, I recognised the scene at once. This is what happens towards the end of a child’s birthday when the six-year-olds have had far too much sugar, everyone is horribly overexcited, Jeremy thinks it’s funny to shinny up the curtains and it’s definitely time for Mummy to take them home. Unfortunately for the nation, most MPS are too old to have mummies, yet they are still young enough to behave like a
bunch of gleefully naughty children.
If there were any lingering doubt about the fitness of the present Parliament to govern this country, it was well and truly extinguished on Monday afternoon when John Bercow announced he was standing down. I say announced, but what followed, over the next few hours, was one of the most indulgent, nauseating, unintentionally hilarious and self-aggrandising displays I can recall seeing in public life.
Picture the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party with Bercow – Gollum in a top hat – jabbering sibilant nonsense, holding the teapot aloft and pouring himself cup after cup of preposterous praise. “Order, awwwe-duur! Oh, go on then, tell me how marvellous I am again, if you absolutely must…”
MPS were only supposed to be deciding whether to call the most important general election for a generation. A matter of considerable importance for voters. Who? Oh, them.
When the Speaker told the House his leaving date would be October 31, the Opposition benches chortled at this malicious in-joke. They were laughing at Leave voters. Even mocking democracy itself. Telling us they can do as they damn well like in their Westminster fortress and we, the people, can do nothing to stop them. Bercow has seen to that.
“We degrade this Parliament at our peril,” he bellowed. Said the man who has done more to bring that place into disrepute over the past three years than any of his predecessors. A supposedly impartial chair, he was given a standing ovation by the Opposition while most Conservatives sat on their hands. (Which proved that he failed miserably at his job.) He has done everything in his power to stop us leaving the EU. (He drove his wife’s car which has a “B------- to Brexit” sticker in the window. Classy.)
He has taken a Stanley knife to the subtle warp and weft of our unwritten constitution. He has tried every wheeze to enable Remainers to take control of business and then, when the Prime Minister prorogued Parliament to restrain them, had the cheek to complain that it was not “normal”.
He has conspired with the Opposition to put Boris in a position where he could actually be arrested for trying to implement the result of a referendum which both main parties promised to honour in their 2017 election manifestos. And that’s just a law he made up recently so his Labour mates could avoid facing the British people at a general election because, er, they’d lose. Democracy, eh?
“When the history books come to be written, you will be described as one of the great reforming Speakers,” treacled Hilary Benn.
“I don’t want this to become a mutual admiration society,” simpered Bercow.
Too late for that, I’m afraid. Hours of precious parliamentary time had been squandered as MPS paid tribute to the glory that is them and to an odious, vain, choleric individual who has faced allegations of bullying, a fact that strangely didn’t merit a mention in any of the rapturous encomiums. And then they held up placards saying “Silenced”!
What can you say about such a staggering lack of self-awareness? Perhaps suggest that the Mad Hatter’s House of Commons be removed in its entirety to Rampton high-security hospital and we get a few normal people in from Sainsbury to see if they can do any worse. “I couldn’t give a flying flamingo what you think,” snapped Bercow at the end, the narcissist’s mask slipping. Believe me, Mr Speaker, out here in the country the feeling is entirely mutual. The sooner we are rid of you and your rotten Parliament of Fools, the
better.