It’s time schools taught girls about social media
Afriend of a friend has a daughter who started secondary school this week. What should have been an exciting rite of passage turned into a hospital admission after the school shared details on social media revealing that Chloe (not her real name) wasn’t in a single class with anyone she knew. Soon, friends from her previous school on Whatsapp and Instagram were issuing dire warnings about what the new place might bring. “You’re in a class with all the popular girls, they’ll bully you,” one said helpfully.
Soon, Chloe was in a terrible state. One of her posts hadn’t got enough likes, or so the 11-year-old sobbed. Several girls had posted hateful things. In the night, she developed breathing difficulties. “I thought she was just being a drama queen. The doctor said she had a lot of oxygen in her bloodstream, and I thought
that sounded good,” said the friend of a friend, “but then he explained it was because Chloe was taking so many short gaspy breaths.” The poor child was having panic attacks.
The friend of a friend called the school which, ironically, prides itself on having good mental health policies. What did they think they were playing at sharing details about her daughter’s form in advance? It had turned the last few days of the holiday into an ordeal.
So I was pleased to see Little Mix’s Jesy Nelson speaking out about online bullying and the terrible harm it can do in a BBC Three documentary called Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out. She says that her online abuse started when she was on X Factor in 2011. “I had about 101 messages… and the first one was from some random man, saying: ‘You are the ugliest thing I’ve seen in my life… You deserve to die,’” said Nelson. “It became the worst time of my life. I wasn’t just known as one of the singers in Little Mix, I was known as ‘the fat, ugly one’.” Things got so bad Jesy tried to take her own life. Her painful honesty is welcome. Girls like Chloe can take comfort from the fact that one of their idols went through the same attacks and survived.
The bigger issue – one of the most important in this Age of Anxiety – is helping girls to navigate social media without feeling bad about themselves. (And schools should not upset pupils before they even come through the door.) By the way, Chloe is feeling better and has had a good first few days. She’s made a new friend who is actually a real person.