From Downing Street to the daytime TV sofa ... and a revelation that made viewers sit up
It’s only three years since David Cameron resigned as prime minister, yet it feels like so much longer. Decades longer. Already he seems like a relic of a distant age. Seeing him on TV again has been almost eerie. It’s as if the presenter has just said “Coming up after the break, we’ll be chatting to Harold Macmillan”, or “Call in now to put your question to the ghost of Anthony Eden”.
Yesterday Mr Cameron, accompanied by his wife Samantha, went on ITV’S This Morning, to tell Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby about his memoirs.
Straight away you could sense that this wasn’t entirely the David Cameron we used to know. There was something missing. His voice sounded the same – polished, patrician, smooth as a limo – but the old bounce wasn’t quite there. He looked worn, deflated, and slightly faded, like a forgotten party balloon.
Gamely he trudged his way through the questions about Brexit (“Well” – sigh – “it was a huge decision …”), while Samantha perched by his side, nodding earnestly.
It wasn’t immediately clear why she was there, given that the memoirs under discussion weren’t hers. But presumably the producers had decided that This Morning’s viewers weren’t all that interested in boring old politics, because she was soon roped in to answer questions about how the children were getting on, and whether she felt protective of her husband (answer: yes), and what he was like around the house (“brilliant with the kids”). Perking up, Mr Cameron chimed in that he loves helping the children with their homework: apparently he finds the maths and science “a bit testing”, but he’s good at “putting in commas”.
The most memorable moment, though, was one he would probably like to forget.
Phillip Schofield had asked him how he felt about Vote Leave’s “post-truth” approach to campaigning. The first time he saw that dubious slogan about sending the EU “£350million a week”, was he “spitting at the TV”?
“Believe me, I did more than that,” replied Mr Cameron. “I – ”
Unfortunately, the next word came out all wrong. I suspect it was meant to
‘Straight away you could sense that this wasn’t entirely the David Cameron we used to know. There was something missing’
be “shouted” – as in, “shouted at the TV”. During the journey from his brain to his lips, however, somehow that word got very muddled – and came out as a very rude word that sounds exactly like “shout”, but with a different vowel.
Holly Willoughby dissolved into giggles. Phillip Schofield snickered like Muttley in Wacky Races. Even Samantha couldn’t stop laughing. And there, in the middle of this helpless hysteria, sat poor old Dave, smiling weakly.
In 2015, Mr Cameron became the first Tory leader in a generation to win a Commons majority. Yet four years on, here he was, attempting valiantly to flog an 700-page book about how he’d screwed it all up – and now, to put the icing on the cake, he’d accidentally sworn on daytime TV.
When your luck’s out, it’s really out.