Proud Lilywhites exist to bring football to all
Derby clash will have the same passion and rivalry, but with an added dose of fun, writes Chris Paouros
Ifirst went to White Hart Lane in 1980 when I was six and I knew instantly that I loved Tottenham. I remember walking up the stairs, seeing the turf for the first time and a feeling of collective hope. That experience should not be denied to anybody.
I came out in my late teens – around the same time as my political awakening – but I fell out of love with football a little because I felt I could not reconcile the machismo associated with football fandom with my emerging feminism and sexuality.
In 2013, after an early rainbow laces campaign, a couple of LGBTQ+ supporters’ clubs cropped up and Spurs wanted to engage their LGBTQ+ fans and met eight of us in 2014, saying: “This is for you – tell us what you want”, and The Proud Lilywhites were born.
This is not us wanting special attention – this is us saying: ‘We’re Spurs fans – just like you.’ There’s anecdotal evidence of people coming back to football because we exist. We have some trans members who loved Spurs in what you might call a former life and have come back.
I follow the women’s team having met my late wife Monica, a former Spurs Ladies player, there in the 2000s. I am hoping that this North London derby will be different to the men’s game: women’s football is all the fun of the men’s game without the machismo. The passion still exists in the women’s game, but it is all about fun, silliness and jokes, none of it about any protected characteristics. The historic rivalry between the fans will of course still exist, but I expect a different vibe.
We have song sheets with Spurs Women chants and the players love them. For them to have fans singing about them is a great, inclusive moment for everyone. Chris Paouros is the co-chair of the Proud Lilywhites – the official Tottenham Hotspur LGBTQ+ Supporters Association.