Mind healing

A dose of humility can be a good thing

Millennials are more narcissistic and self-centred than young people in previous decades, Jean Twenge at San Diego State University, who studies wellbeing in young adults, concludes.

Is this trend associated with greater contentment? It doesn’t appear so. In 2018, the Prince’s Trust found in a survey of more than 2000 people aged 16 to 25 that their wellbeing was at its lowest since the study was first commissioned in 2009.

I’m only pointing out an association. There’s no proof today’s “me” focus is causing unhappiness. But when one psychological quality is overemphasised, the outcome is rarely favourable.

A number of researchers feel it’s time to rebalance, time to consider humility.

In his review of

96 studies, Everett Worthington at Virginia Commonwealth University defined humility as acknowledging accurately your limitations and skills, while taking an interpersonal stance that’s focused on others rather than yourself.

Researchers have found that humility is associated with greater empathy and altruism, with gratitude and the ability to forgive, and possibly with higher levels of conscientiousness and open-mindedness, which are associated with longevity.

The most frequently studied aspects include intellectual, relational and social-cultural humility.

Elizabeth Krumreimancuso at Pepperdine University measured levels of intellectual humility in 587 adults and found it was positively associated with empathy, gratitude, altruism, benevolence, universalism and the avoidance of power-seeking.

Don Davis at Georgia State University carried out two longitudinal studies, one looking at humility in romantic relationships and one in small groups. High levels of humility were associated with the ability to forgive and repair romantic relationships, and the formation of strong social bonds in small groups.

Worthington also looked at humility in relation to life satisfaction and physical and emotional health.

Again, results suggest benefits for the humble, but findings in these areas are more tentative.

If you’d like to rebalance your outlook, here’s how you could do it:

Listening empathetically to others shows you value them, and may clarify what you do and do not know.

Opening your eyes to all there is to learn is itself humbling, and will help you recognise your strengths and weaknesses.

Helping those less fortunate will encourage appreciation of what you have and enrich your ability to empathise.

Letting go of anger about the past frees energy, so you can be more vigilant and avoid future injustices – and, if you feel able, help others who have experienced similar distress.