Present tense
This time of the year can bring all sorts of pressures, but there is help at hand. Kate Spicer looks at some very practical solutions
The trick to surviving Christmas
Conflict resolution
Dr Sheri Jacobson, a family conflict specialist at Harley Therapy, says: “During an argument, you are in flight or fight mode – meaning stay and argue or run away. If you’re going to argue: acknowledge the other person’s perspectives and think before you speak. If you are going to run: make it ‘measured flight’, say ‘I’m off to clear my head’ and go for a walk and or do some breathing exercises.
“Don’t dwell on arguments, and forget any illusions of perfection, peace and harmony. Just live in the moment. But if you are feeling hurt do not ignore it. Acknowledge your feelings and then let them out in a controlled way, write notes, scream on a walk, listen to music turned up loud. Express the feeling, don’t suppress it.” If it’s all going off and you’re at the heart of it, it’s probably easier to turn to your breath (that’s spelt B.R.E.A.T.H, not B.O.O.Z.E.) harleytherapy.co.uk
Other people
Don’t feel bad, even the greatest yogis are tested. To quote Ram Dass, “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.”
Howard Napper, a breathing guru, says: “The easiest and most effective way to keep you in a state of relative calm is done through the nostrils. Inhale for the count of four seconds. Exhale for the count of eight seconds (always makes sure the exhalation is longer than the inhale as this aids relaxation). Do as many repetitions as you can, or need, but always keep the exhale twice as long as the inhale. This is the simplest biological hack you can do to access the central nervous system to change stress chemicals to relax chemicals. You can even do it secretly at the dinner table.” howardnapper.com
Other people’s kids
You may be baffled or outraged by a parent’s lack of discipline and overindulgence of their rude and irritating offspring. Unfortunately, it is Christmas and there is nowhere to hide, so you must, as psychoanalysts say, “sit with these difficult feelings”. An analysis of World Health Organisation statistics found a third of all adult mental health conditions relate directly to adverse childhood experiences. Perhaps a grumpy uncle who roared at them once at Christmas? Only joking, or am I?
The only fail-safe solution is to play with any children in an enthusiastic and attentive manner as a form of camouflage for your real feelings. Know that Christmas is something of a performance, on many levels, that’s just the way it is. We have to be pragmatic, just this one time a year, and take up our place on the stage as best we can and get on with it.
Stress
Research published earlier this year by the University of Michigan found that exposure to nature is as effective as taking pills to relieve stress. Just 20 minutes will significantly reduce levels of the stress hormone, cortisol; add another 10 minutes – even if just sitting, and cortisol levels dropped at their greatest rate. If no one else can be bothered to go for a walk, go for a quick one alone.
Fatigue
The Wim Hof Method has been clinically proven to help its practitioners fight off bugs and inflammation. Allan Brownlie, a Wim Hof Method instructor, suggests a taste of its bracing benefits for combating inevitable festive fatigue.
“Take a warm shower, as normal. Then, while the water is still warm, start to breathe in and breathe out nice and slow. Keep doing this for about a minute taking a total of 10 breaths. Then, turn the shower to cold.
“You will start breathing more quickly, it’s a shock. The trick is to focus on breathing calmly again under the cold shower. The moment your breathing is under control, the cold will feel different. If you find it difficult to set the shower to cold in one go, do it in two or three steps. You can also start by just holding your feet under the cold spray, then your hands and arms, then gradually bringing your whole body under the cold shower, for a minute or two.” allanbrownlie.com
Hangovers
Rehydrate with water, and coffee is a proven headache cure as it helps reduce inflammation in the brain. Others recommend Dioralyte for the dehydration. But by far the best way to cure a hangover is to not drink too much in the first place.
Digestion
“We eat too much,” says nutritionist Rosemary Ferguson. If you’re FTB (full to bursting) “try to skip the odd meal and instead take a smoothie that is nutrient-dense and easy to digest. It will be a welcome break from the huge workload for the gut, which in turn will boost your energy levels.”
She recommends blitzing till smooth: 5 spears of asparagus,
½ avocado, 1 kiwi, 1 tbsp oats, ½ tsp spirulina, a handful of spinach, 2 cups of coconut water. rosemaryferguson.co.uk
Traffic
Are you fully au fait with the different route planners? A tech-savvy co-pilot should be able to keep an eye on the traffic ahead and plan alternative routes should the inevitable seasonal road traffic incident slow things down.
Edmund King, the AA president, says: “It only takes one traffic mishap to bring a Christmas trip to a grinding halt. Keeping track of what’s happening out on the road could be the difference between extra hours in the car or a more relaxed one back home waiting for the traffic to clear. Everyone thinks that leaving early is the best way to beat the crowds, then finds everyone else had the same idea. Leaving late is more likely to work, and if you can leave your journey to the last minute, Christmas Day is the quietest day of the year on the roads.” theaa.com/route-planner/route
Skin
Stress, endless chocolates, late nights and more prosecco than usual can play havoc with skin, which is why many of us wake up on Christmas morning looking a little duller-skinned than usual. So how does all this Christmas excess affect skin?
“Stress is the single biggest factor for ageing skin and can affect its health and appearance, as can things like sugar and a lack of sleep,” says Shabir Daya, the pharmacist and co-founder of victoriahealth.com. “When we feel stressed, the outer cell layers of our skin produce cortisol, an inflammatory hormone that can make your skin red, dry, wrinkled, tiredlooking, reactive and sensitive, oily and acneprone, or cause under-eye dark circles.”
So what’s the solution? “Mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing, and skin supplements like magnolia rhodiola complex by VH help.” victoriahealth.com/ product/magnoliarhodiolacomplex/1468
Sleep
Sleep in heavenly peace? Not likely. Christmas creates the perfect storm for a bad night’s sleep: fretting over Christmas Day menus, too many late nights, sleeping over at relatives’ houses and excitable children waking you up too early, not to mention more alcohol and rich food than usual (which further disturbs sleep). “When I first developed insomnia in my 20s, I began doing things to ‘help’ me sleep,” says sleep expert Dr Guy Meadows, the clinical director of the Sleep School.
“I stopped drinking alcohol and coffee, and yet the more I chased sleep, the further it slipped away. What I learnt back then helped pioneer my clinic’s ‘acceptance therapy’: if you wake in the night with a racing mind, accept and acknowledge the worry, and then let it pass. Mindfully enjoy the benefits of being in a warm and comfortable bed. From there, sleep will probably emerge. And if it doesn’t? Just accept it and rest. During the day, exercise, eating well, a regular bedtime and the odd power nap in the afternoon, also helps.” thesleepschool.org
The Samaritans are at the end of the phone. Just call 116 123