A question of repentance or regret?
Ifirst met Jonathan Fletcher when I was a young teenager; he a curate in Cambridge – charismatic, tall, dark, handsome, with a personality so powerful I instantly wanted him to like and approve of me.
He didn’t. Not being an Evangelical, male or public school-educated, I could never have counted for much.
He had a wide influence. A friend told me how he inspired her to ordination. She’s not alone. His church grew. Many protégés became clergy. Many escaped unscathed.
Others; dozens, were – it seems – less fortunate. Any vulnerability – bereavement was common to several – led to grooming in early adolescence.
Once of age, this became beatings, enforced cold baths, demands for naked massages – a disturbing and calculated control the law currently struggles to recognise.
Thus marriages were prevented; careers stunted; health ruined. Men were the direct victims, but wives and children also bore the shattered prospects and debilitating breakdowns.
We know abusers don’t all have bad teeth and dirty macs. Some are successful entertainers; eminent churchmen. Yes, Jonathan was domineering, forceful, misogynistic. But he could also be generous, fun and inspirational. More to the point, he preached the Christian faith, promoted holy living, encouraged others. How could someone of such conviction and high moral standards make his friends strip naked before thrashing them?
He claims not to have realised he was doing wrong. Is this possible? I remember, with a shudder, a young mother being diagnosed with cancer.
“Not as bad as divorce,” Jonathan said abruptly. And believed it. Does he not know death is the Last Enemy – indeed, what Christ gave up to conquer it? He considered the sitcom Rev wicked, for laughing at church planting… but loved Dad’s Army, which jokes of war. Really?
Somehow, genuine Christian zeal had tipped into fanaticism. There is no proportion, no simple common sense. It became more important to punish young men for masturbating than to nurture confidence, encourage kindness, rejoice when they fell in love or succeeded in their careers… And nothing outside the church mattered: no brain surgeon or violinist would populate Heaven.
For decades no one protested. Conditioned from an early age and subjected to humiliation, it was impossible to admit what they were enduring. They might even appear to have been “consenting”. They weren’t, of course, but it proved an extremely effective way of buying silence.
I am sure Jonathan derived a grim satisfaction from intimidating others.
And he kept his behaviour a close secret, implying guilt.
Now he has apologised. But has he repented or merely regretted his loss of power and control? God knows.
All I can do is thank Him the abuse is exposed at last.