The princess of Ps and Qs
Myka Meier has taken America by storm with her classes in modern etiquette. Now she’s sharing her guidance so we can all display perfect propriety, says Jane Mulkerrins
The last time etiquette was a big deal, it was 1922, and American socialite Emily Post had become synonymous with the subject after publishing her bestselling bible, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home.
Now, a century later, a new maven of manners is emerging. Myka Meier, 37 – who has been called the “Marie Kondo of etiquette”
– is single-handedly pioneering “the renaissance of etiquette in America”, according to filmmaker Matthew Miele, who is making a documentary about her company, Beaumont Etiquette.
Since launching Beaumont in 2013, Meier has rapidly become the new queen of civility, training everyone from global titans of business and anxious brides-to-be; to foreign princesses, politicians and celebrities (not to mention the entitled offspring of celebrities and their nannies).
Last year, it schooled more than 8,000 people, many of them at New York’s famous Plaza Hotel, where the popular “Duchess Effect” course – which teaches attendees “how to emulate the style, grace and poise of a duchess” – costs $699 (£535). Meier also teaches one-on-one tutorials at the request of high-rolling clients, who generally send the private jet to bring her to them.
Unsurprisingly, then, she is ferociously well connected.
Her best friend from days at the University of Florida is architect Dara Huang, the former partner of Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi – or, as he is better known these days, Princess Beatrice’s fiancé. Meier is godmother to three-year-old Wolfie, Mapelli Mozzi’s son with Huang.
“They are a perfect example of a modern family,” is all she will say of Huang, Mozzi and Beatrice, who reportedly have regular family dinners. There has been inevitable speculation as to whether she will train the wedding party for Beatrice and Edoardo’s nuptials later this year, but Meier remains tight-lipped about any potential royal commission.
It stands to reason: according to her method, gossip is one of the nine no-nos of polite conversation. Others include sex, politics, money and religion.
Fortunately, to seek Meier’s advice, one no longer needs to travel to Manhattan or send a private plane. This week sees the publication of her first book, Modern Etiquette Made
Easy. Jam-packed with guidance (she doesn’t like the word “rules”), the pithy manual is as broad as it is specific: how to slice cheese; how to sit, stand, enter a room, leave a room, hold a wine glass; when it is polite to leave a dinner party; how to politely get rid of guests at your own; and how to get out of a car – or a helicopter, of course. While she was trained at British and Swiss finishing schools, including the renowned Institut Villa Pierrefeu, a good deal of the Meier Method she has alighted upon herself. “I’m unapologetic in that,” she beams. “People are still teaching the same etiquette they were in 1940. As society evolves, etiquette has to evolve with it.”
Notably, gender has no place in the Meier Method, and she sees “Ladies first” as a dreadful anachronism. “Rules like that – that women should walk through a door first, women should be introduced first – no,” she says firmly. “It drives me bonkers.” The same goes for dating; men should not be expected to pay, as per the antiquated expectation that persists among many otherwise modern, liberated women.
“The person who does the asking out and plans the date is the host, and they should be the one to pay,” she adds. “But it’s always excellent etiquette to offer to pay, even if you are the guest.”
I have met Meier before, when she gave me a crash course in the basics of dinner party decorum: how to eat an oyster (two chews then swallow); navigating a formal table – drinks must always remain to one’s right, the handle of a teacup must rest at 3 o’clock; bread should never be cut, only torn, and one must never pour condiments, including gravy, over an entire plate – they should sit in the bottom right-hand corner.
It all appears to come naturally to her. Yet Meier was not born with a silver fish knife in her hand. Growing up in Sarasota, Florida – where full-length jeans, rather than cut-offs, are considered formal wear
– her Barbadian-born father owned a boat company, while her mother worked for the family construction firm.
Today, Meier might be polished to perfection, but along with her two elder brothers says she “spent the majority of my childhood in flip-flops, running around muddy orange groves. I didn’t grow up skiing in Klosters, like my husband.”
She was working in PR in New York in her early 20s when she met Swiss financier, Marco Meier, and at 25, moved to London to be with him.
At dinner one night in a Sloane Square restaurant with friends, she felt flummoxed by the six forks in front of her. Marco gently suggested an etiquette course might help her feel more confident. She took to it with the zeal of a convert.
Back in New York, the newly mannered Meier launched Beaumont Etiquette in 2013 to immediate success, with her halfday courses regularly selling out. Little over a year after the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s wedding, interest in the polished, elegant young royals was at an all-time high.
Indeed, one of Meier’s early etiquette courses was cheekily titled “Marry Harry”, designed to help young American women snag the flame-haired heir to the throne.
When Meghan Markle claimed her prize, the course title had to change, but the interest in etiquette only grew. “People were asking: ‘How did this average girl from California do that? And can I do it, too?’” says Meier.
Even if marrying into the Royal family might look somewhat less appealing at the moment, Meier believes that etiquette instruction is needed now more than ever.
“We have a generation that only knows how to text somebody instead of calling or approaching them,” she says. No surprise, then, that her most frequent request is for help with networking.
In response, Beaumont has just launched a corporate training arm, and Meier’s second book,
Business Etiquette Made Easy, will be published in May.
“I’ll tell you what you can and can’t say to your colleague, and the compliments you’re allowed to give,” she explains. A handbook on how to mind your Ps and Qs in the woke workplace? Something tells me Meier’s name may soon be synonymous with 21st-century etiquette.
‘People are still teaching the same etiquette from 1940. It has to evolve’
‘Rules like that – that women should walk through a door first – drive me bonkers’