Why social restrictions feel difficult

When we were first advised to limit our movements, restrict social contact, and self-quarantine if we experienced even mild symptoms of Covid-19, we still witnessed large numbers of people out and about in close proximity.

Why do some of us react so powerfully to imposed restrictions?

In 1966, Jack Brehm, now at the University of Kansas, proposed what he termed ‘psychological reactance theory’.

When humans are told to limit an accustomed freedom, they react emotionally, becoming hostile, uncomfortable and sometimes angry and aggressive. They challenge the restrictions or try to find ways around them.

Cognitively, they are also likely to downgrade the reasoning behind the restrictions. The strength of the reaction depends, however, on a number of factors: how well we understand the reason for any restriction; how important the threatened freedom is to us personally; how difficult it would be to restore that freedom; and whether we feel under any group pressure to behave in a certain way.

But why is it so particularly distressing to be told to stay at home? After all, home is our place of refuge and safety, the place where we can feel safe ourselves and able to protect our loved ones. There are three reasons. First, we’ve lost the freedom to choose. We can, of course, order in food and supplies while remaining at home, and we can work from home. But we only feel comfortable when it’s our choice. Second, there are huge rewards when we leave home: social contact, environmental stimulation and so on. Finally, leaving and returning home frames our day and gives us a feeling of structure.

What, then, can you do to deal with such a fundamental restriction to personal freedom? Understand the threat.

The threat to our health service and to the lives of many vulnerable people is hard to grasp, because it’s come about so suddenly. Reach out to someone who’s more vulnerable and needy than you are and ask how you can help. Becoming involved in a positive way will help make things seem more real. If that’s not enough, a doctor friend of mine said to me today to think of two metres (social distancing) as the length of a coffin.

Create freedoms in your own home. Use the psychological trick of ‘forced choice decisions’, which is when you offer yourself choices, but all of them respect the imposed limits. For example, instead of ‘I can’t go out’, ask yourself if you’d rather contact friends online in the morning or the afternoon.

Love your home again.

A journalist friend told me today she did a deep clean of her workspace at home, and feels much calmer and more organised as a result.

Create a united front.

Contact friends and colleagues and suggest swapping ways to cope and bolster resolve, thus forming your own positive group pressure.