Thanks for all your hard work, carers. Have a badge

NEVER be flippant. It may seem like just a bit of fun at the time. But you don’t know where it might lead.

At the daily Downing Street news conference last Thursday, Dominic Raab was asked what kind of reward NHS staff could expect in return for their extraordinary efforts during this crisis. Perhaps fearful of going above his own pay grade, the stand-in prime minister sidestepped the question.

“I’m sure,” he said diplomatically, “that there will be the appropriate level of recognition.”

In my sketch column, I wondered what in practice this might mean. A pay rise? A one-off financial bonus? Or a commemorative Covid-19 pen plus a limited edition top adorned with the slogan, “I Risked My Life Saving the Country from the Deadliest Pandemic in a Century, and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt”?

Of course, I only meant it as a joke. But it would appear that someone in Government has taken it seriously.

Because yesterday evening, at the latest news conference, the Health Secretary unveiled an exciting new benefit for care workers: a badge. With the word “CARE” written on it.

“This badge,” declared Matt Hancock, with an air of sweeping munificence, “will be a badge of honour in a very real sense – allowing social care staff proudly and publicly to identify themselves. Just like NHS staff do, with that famous blue and white logo.”

Yes, that’s what he said. A badge. A shiny badge. Free and everything.

Hopefully the care workers will be suitably grateful. To whet their appetites, Mr Hancock modelled one himself. And very fetching it looked.

Admittedly a cynic might say: “Hang on a minute. A badge? Wouldn’t care workers be better off with, for example, an adequate supply of protective equipment, like so many of them have been desperately crying out for? And testing for the virus, which they’ve also been crying out for? And a pay rise, so they no longer have to scrape by on median pay of just £8.10 an hour, a frankly insulting return for doing one of the toughest and yet most important jobs in the country? Aren’t those the kinds of things you should be giving our care workers – rather than a glorified Blue Peter badge? Honestly. This is the worst game show ever. What other prizes are you offering? An exclusive Matt Hancock chequebook and pen?”

That, at any rate, is what a cynical person might say. Or so I imagine.

Thankfully, the journalists called on to ask questions at yesterday’s news conference did not stoop to idle cynicism.

Indeed, they displayed admirable restraint. During the entire 45-minute episode, not a single one of them said: “Just a quick question to the Secretary of State: a badge? And if I could ask a follow-up: a badge?”