We’ll meet again: the cross-border lovers separated by lockdown
Denmark’s decision to ease tight controls has let some partners see each other for the first time in months
Ulla Lundgaard was relaxing in front of the television with her long-term German boyfriend Andreas on March 14 when Denmark’s prime minister dropped the bombshell that would tear their lives apart.
“It was unbelievable − you are sitting on the couch on Friday evening listening to a speech by your prime minister and she’s saying ‘we’re shutting down the border tomorrow morning’,” Ulla said. “My whole world broke down.”
The next day Andreas drove back to Hamburg where he runs a container business, leaving his girlfriend, who is in the same industry, to spend her 50th birthday alone in Funen.
On Tuesday he was finally able to return after the Danish government eased its strict border rules.
Partners of Danish residents are allowed to cross the border as long as they live in Germany or a Nordic country, have been in a face-to-face relationship for at least six months, and are able to provide evidence of their ties.
Andreas arrived at the border carrying a letter from Ulla stating they had been together for 17 years, a copy of her will leaving him her money, and copies of their emails.
Now back in Denmark, Andreas says the experience of returning has been “amazing and unreal at the same time”.
He added: “Everybody’s all of a sudden thinking that corona has gone and there is no need to take care any longer. We are so afraid that this will result in the border closing again, simply because some people are just too stupid or ignorant to understand or accept the new rules in our society,” It is a dilemma faced by many across the world − how can love survive in a time of coronavirus lockdowns? Caroline Ørsum, a children’s writer based in Copenhagen, has been in a year-long relationship with Soumu, who comes from Calcutta but lives in Finland. He has been flying to Denmark about every three weeks and is expected to return in a fortnight. Caroline said. “It’s been really stressful, especially the part about not knowing anything, not having any idea and so your imagination is free to run wild.”
They each celebrated their birthdays when they were separated.
“We made the same cake in two countries, so we’ve been watching ourselves on Skype eating the same cake but it’s not quite the same on Skype as in real life,” Caroline said.
She was so frustrated by the border closure that on May 8, she started a Facebook group for lovers separated by coronavirus border closures. Of the 291 members, 25 have a partner in the UK, 17 in the US, 15 in Germany, and eight in the Netherlands.
Another couple left divided by the border closure, and who will not benefit from its partial reopening, are Melinda Schneider, a Canadian, and her Danish boyfriend, Adrian Carlsen.
They met in February 2018, when he travelled to her hometown in Ontario, to play for the Bradford Bulls ice hockey team.
Until the lockdown the pair had been seeing each other every two to three months, with Melinda travelling to Denmark, where Adrian is now playing for the Hvidovre Fighters.
“To be separated due to these closed borders has been increasingly difficult, especially not knowing that there is any hope of us being united again in the near future,” she said.
“We genuinely don’t understand what my nationality has to do with my likelihood of infection. I have been home and isolating since I was laid off from my jobs and university converted to online instruction on March 15.”
Bente Strand, 77, from Nykøbing on the Danish island of Falster, met her American sweetheart Matthew Gruskin, 78, while backpacking in Greece in 1965. The couple were together for more than a year but drifted apart and were reunited when Matthew’s wife died seven years ago.
Bente said: “Those of us with sweethearts of other nationalities find it very unfair. We are very happy that others are able to see their lovers again, but we can’t, and we don’t know when we can be together again.”
The couple had been planning on meeting in Ireland in May, and then flying to Denmark in June before going to the Faroe Islands.
“We are not young any longer,” said Bente. “Which is why we don’t want to waste any time.”
‘We are not young any longer which is why we don’t want to waste any time’