HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CHILD ISN’T COPING… …AND HOW YOU CAN HELP THEM

Classic signs that a teenager is depressed, such as changes in sleep patterns or losing interest in their appearance and interests, can be tricky to spot now that pyjamas are acceptable daywear and many of our routines have vanished, says Dr Angharad Rudkin.

However, signs that your teen may be seriously struggling include appearing very tired or lethargic, not wanting to get out of bed, speak to friends or being very tearful. “Don’t panic,” says Dr Rudkin, if they have a couple of days when they don’t want to do anything. “It only starts to be a serious worry when this goes on for a couple of weeks or more.”

Dr Amanda Gummer says: “Seek professional help if your child expresses any suicidal tendencies, is self-harming or shutting themselves off and seems extremely miserable.”

Dr Rudkin says: “You should be able to access the same mental health services as before the pandemic. Your GP will be able to help.”

There are ways you can help. “Tell your teen that it’s normal to be sad and miss their friends,” says Dr Rudkin. “Acknowledge how difficult the current situation is.”

Encourage socially distanced real-life meetings and online chats with friends and try to keep some routines going, such as a family dinner, he says.

Dr Gummer says: “Ask teens to help with housework, shopping, choosing and making meals. Involve them in family decisions as this can help them feel important and valued.” Communication is vital, but, says Dr Gummer, “Don’t just ask ‘how are you?’ as this can feel like an interrogation.

Chat while you do chores together or are driving, so your child feels less under pressure. Text chats can also work well with this age group.” “Teen emotions can be all or nothing,” says Dr Rudkin. “But you shouldn’t join in with that. Model positive and realistic thinking. Don’t dismiss their feelings, but equally, try not to swoop in with solutions right away. Teens learn more from watching than being told what to do.

“Be kind and compassionate to yourself and it’s likely your teen will act that way, too.”

For advice and support go to: Youngminds.org. uk; Anxietyuk. org.uk; Childline. org.uk