MPS do the coronavirus conga to cast a vote
The scene would have been familiar to anyone who has had to pay a visit to a supermarket since lockdown began. Ordered to stand two metres apart and with no choice but to remain polite and patient, the general public has largely reacted to the unprecedented restrictions on their civil liberties with commendable good grace.
If only the same could be said of their elected representatives, who yesterday angrily likened the queue outside Parliament to Alton Towers, while complaining about being subject to social distancing measures that voters have had to put up with for weeks.
Despite the public having been instructed “to go back to work, if you can’t work from home,” it seemed some politicians were still desperately trying to hang on to their glitchy Zoom calls as they were ordered back to the House of Commons.
The voting lobbies have been deemed unsafe by Public Health England, so MPS have had to form a coronavirus conga line to feed into the Commons chamber 50 at a time to cast their vote at the Despatch box instead.
As the mercury topped 24 degrees in Westminster, the lengthy line to vote on whether to end the virtual Parliament became heated, with a number of MPS taking to Twitter to condemn the “ridiculousness” of them no longer being able to hold the Government to account from the comfort of their back gardens.
Yet even more ridiculous was perhaps the fact that MPS joined a lengthy queue to vote for more lengthy queues, approving the Government’s motion to only allow them to vote in person by 261 votes to 163. Although the majority of objectors were from Opposition parties, 20 Tories rebelled.
Naturally, Jacob Rees-mogg, the Leader of the House, who on Monday declared “If Parliament is to deliver on the people’s priorities it must sit physically”, found himself on the receiving end of some colleagues’ wrath. Lloyd Russell-moyle, the Labour MP who scandalised the Commons in 2018 by grabbing the parliamentary mace, was among many who could not resist poking fun at the “Honourable Member for the 18th century”, tweeting: “Jacob Rees-mogg will really go to extreme lengths to prevent parliament from coming into the 21st century.”
Yet weren’t the Labour MPS voicing the loudest complaints the very same politicians who have been calling for the very strictest adherence to the two-metre rule? How ironic that those most critical of the Government’s Covid response were now actively trying to avoid a face-to-face
confrontation with Boris Johnson. Onlookers could have been forgiven for thinking that the entire exercise was designed to expose what one suspects Mr Rees-mogg regards as the sheer ludicrousness of lockdown.
Summing up the somewhat hysterical mood on the Opposition benches, Liberal Democrat leadership hopeful Layla Moran – who only on Sunday accused the Government of “accelerating out of lockdown” – tweeted: “Each vote is going to take at least 30 mins and we have 3 today. What a shower.” Imagine what she might have made of the chaotic scenes had it actually been raining?
Anyone who has recently visited a Mcdonald’s drive-through with hangry children in the back will vouch that 30 minutes per vote is actually is pretty good going, all things considered. And at least they had Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle barking the orders to stay safely apart – rather than his bombastic predecessor, the non-peer John Bercow. At times the usually mild-mannered Labour MP for Chorley had to resort to yelling: “Keep moving” as MPS dawdled in the line, eagerly updating their social media feeds with the latest developments.
The eminently sensible Defra minister Victoria Prentis, a mother-oftwo who one imagines has joined her fair share of Waitrose queues during lockdown, was much more pragmatic, tweeting from Westminster Hall: “Great to be back in Westminster today. Socially distanced voting & clear instructions in place. Thank you to all the staff at the @Houseofcommons who have worked so hard to make this possible.”
One of the biggest bugbears among her rivals was that the new rules seemingly make it impossible for the shielded to vote.
Luke Pollard, the Labour MP for Plymouth, Sutton and Devonport, made good use of his queuing time to record a selfie video shaded from the sun in The Cloisters (there are surely worse places to be on a hot June day?).
“What we are seeing from the Government is discriminatory,” he railed. “It sends the message that disabled people need not apply to be a Member of Parliament because they’ll be excluded from participating.”
Little wonder then, that Mr Reesmogg agreed to table a motion today that will enable MPS unable to attend
Parliament on medical grounds to take part in certain proceedings, including questions, urgent questions and ministerial statements.
“The stopgap of a hybrid Parliament was a necessary compromise during the peak of the virus, but by not being here the House has not worked effectively on behalf of constituents,” he insisted, conceding that the new system would have “teething problems”.
It came after Labour MP Valerie Vaz had accused him of “living in another universe” – a strange claim when us ordinary folk have been inhabiting “Planet Queue” since March 23.
The MP for North Somerset’s wardrobe – double breasted suit, tie and black brogues – certainly appeared a world away from some of his fellow parliamentarians.
The Commons dress code requires male MPS to wear a suit, although this is not as strict during votes. As a consequence, some turned up tieless, in short-sleeved shirts and even denim shorts to do their democratic duty.
Suitable attire for a theme park, perhaps. It seems MPS better resign themselves to life being a bit of a rollercoaster as Westminster adjusts to the sorts of changes their constituents have had been put up with for weeks.
‘It sends the message that disabled people need not apply to be an MP because they’ll be excluded’