‘Can a judge really get to grips with my divorce via Zoom?’

One 45-year-old mother on the realities of parting in the age of Covid

Ipetitioned for divorce over a year ago. I had hoped to be free of my marriage by September and to hold one of those divorce parties, but then Covid happened.

Divorce is a drawn-out process at the best of times. There were to-ings and fro-ings including a disastrously failed mediation attempt in the summer. A change of solicitors held things back further, then a new court location. When, finally, we were ready to start the official stuff, lawyers went into lockdown along with the rest of us.

My terrific legal team kept things ticking along. For example, my first meeting with my barrister was moved from chambers to Zoom. In true lockdown style, I accessorised my top half in serious black, while remaining in floral pyjamas from the waist down. We pencilled in loo and coffee breaks. Though it seemed a bit strange to begin with – Zoom doesn’t let you interrupt each other (a speciality of mine) – the whole process worked rather well. In fact, the meeting ran on for three hours instead of the planned 90 minutes. Would this have happened in “normal times”, with the next client waiting outside?

Other things have been affected. In January I had our house (he moved out to a rented place when proceedings started) valued by three estate agents. Now, it seems that property prices have dropped by 10 to 15 per cent, so the financial forms have to be amended. My soon-to-be-ex and I have been advised to visit a pensions expert who yesterday wrote back:

“The challenges of remote working may mean that despite our very best efforts, we may have to ask for an extension of the delivery times provided within this quotation.” Time will tell whether our pensions will be worth anything by the time it is done.

For me, it’s this added time that grates. My First Appointment court hearing is meant to be in the first week of July. This may be done remotely: will a judge really get to grips with the facts or the nuances of the situation over the phone or Zoom? Added to this, my barrister told me that court buildings are “Victorian, really quite unhygienic, and not set up for social distancing”, so it could be a long time before face-to-face hearings.

Last night, my solicitor told me that the Finance Dispute Resolution should be “listed for the first available date after 1st November 2020”. In normal times, this would happen within three months of the First Appointment. If my ex is reasonable, and we can negotiate a settlement, a person in my position would usually be divorced by mid-october this year. Now it could be as far away as June 2021 – especially if there is a “second spike”.

In the meantime, I will console myself with a cheapo beach holiday with the cash left over from my somewhat hefty legal bills. Or maybe a jolly dinner out with friends. Oh, hang on, wait…

For my first meeting with my barrister I was in floral PJS, waist down