If Victoria and Meghan launched lifestyle websites à la Goop…
This week, Victoria Beckham announced plans for futureproofing her business. Amid the news of job losses, there was an obvious route map to eureka. VB’S rather good beauty line, launched last autumn, has seen doubledigit growth. Who’d be surprised if she has her sights set on her own version of Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s much-ridiculed, but widely read, wellbeing website and its commercial empire?
Consider the evidence: crystal fixation, tick. Avocado habit, tick, tick, tick. Picturesque bucolic backdrop? VB’S is in the Cotswolds and comes with four photogenic offspring and a husband who now has his own shepherd’s crook.
She may have competition from the Duchess of Sussex, who has previously demonstrated considerable flair for complicated yoga asanas and empowering mantras on her hugely successful, now defunct, blog The Tig.
Given that the Duchess has pretty much the same credentials as GP and VB, plus access to tiaras, it’s surely only a matter of time before we are blessed with Moom – a highly aspirational guide to Om, Family Relationships and Running for President.
But before they launch, both need a tag-line. Goop’s, for instance, is “a modern lifestyle brand”. What about: “Home of the Modern Avocado Lover” for Voob? Moom? Something like “Freedom is Really Cool” should do it.
Then there’s the stunt product that every start-up needs. Goop has the infamous candle with the immortal strapline: “This smells like my vagina.” Greeted with tootles of derision, it scooped up oodles more publicity for the site. Beckham is actually quite coy, so may prefer to go with the less contentious: “This face mask reminds me of David’s thongs.” Moom can go high with a: “This yoga mat will make you more compassionate.”
Both will need hardhitting reportage. Goop likes to pose burning questions such as “Does a water purifier make water safer or taste nicer?” Voob can swoop in with the common touch: “Does a water purifier make water taste like Diet Pepsi?” has a woman of the people ring to it. Moom can help us all out by researching whether a water purifier can offset our private jet use.