Only millennials would want ‘sexier’ Fray Bentos
Here’s a culinary confession I’m courageously disclosing, even if it outs me as the sort of parvenue who couldn’t tell a crayfish from a langoustine.
This week’s revelation that Bath Olivers are officially extinct left me cold. News that Fray Bentos is sexing up its flavours has got me as aerated as those featherlight layers of puff pastry over a duvet of flaccid suet on a bed of sloppy brown mulch. Yum!
Seriously, yum. To me, Fray Bentos is as much a part of my Seventies childhood as half-day Wednesdays, Crackerjack and blushing heavily when
David Essex twinkled on Top of the Pops. Even now, the mere thought of a claggy mouthful transports me to a high-salt, high-cholesterol Proustian heaven. Plus, there was no question that a single pie could feed four; this might explain why we weren’t as fat back then.
Her Majesty the Queen is a fan (see, who’s a snob now?) and used to tuck into Fray Bentos – so named after the Uruguayan city where the beef was processed – on long-haul fl flights, according to h her former pilot. But every b brand has to evolve – not least because milksop millennials found the original tins impossible to open – then new flavours including vegan steak and kidney beans and cheese and onion arrived.
The latest batch of steak and gravy, steak and kidney and “just chicken” has been poshed up by a former Masterchef contestant but I reserve judgment.
Some years ago I wanted to recreate this precious gastronomic experience for my children, so I served them the Fray Bentos steak and kidney classic.
“Yuck! This tastes like slime!” said the wee one. Yes darling, but scrumptious slime, surely? Apparently not, according to my little philistine. The big one’s verdict was unrepeatable.
But hey, all the more for greedy Mummy. Yet, try as I might, I couldn’t manage more than a modest slice. Nor was it quite as delicious as I remembered.
It was quite dispiriting until I got out the Viennetta and watched my children almost implode with pleasure; it almost made up for the fact Toast Toppers have been discontinued. Almost.