Like Prince William, I kept the fact I had Covid-19 quiet, too
Tanith Carey understands why the Duke of Cambridge didn’t want to tell people he was ill
This week, it emerged that Prince William deliberately didn’t tell anyone he contracted Covid-19 in April. “There were important things going on, and I didn’t want to worry anyone,” the Duke of Cambridge has said.
This was despite the fact that at the time he was “knocked for six”, and was occasionally “struggling to breathe”, according to sources.
Yet William, 38, was apparently determined not to panic anyone, opting to isolate while trying to keep it “business as usual”.
However, you don’t have to be the heir to the throne to have very mixed feelings about admitting you are one of “The Infected”.
In my experience, it sets in motion a complex mix of psychological responses, which get far less airtime than the physical symptoms.
When I got Covid in late March, I was baffled as to why, despite reports of rocketing infection rates, my family appeared to be the only ones to have it. While my neighbourhood Whatsapp group was crammed with volunteers offering to run errands, there was no one actually admitting they had caught the virus.
So after a week of feeling truly awful in bed, I steeled myself to ask the question. In my semi-delirious state, I tapped out the message: “Does anyone else have CV yet? Three cases here. Me, my husband and my younger daughter.”
First came an almighty pause. Then came a polite “poor you” message and an offer of help if we needed it, followed by silence.
Five minutes later, ater, however, the private messages s started pouring in.
“Yes, we’ve got t it, too,” said one neighbour. ur. “But my son and husband and don’t want anyone ne to know.” “Such a relief elief to find a fellow sufferer,” texted another also opting to keep a low profile.
A friend who heard on the
grapevine that I’d also gone public also gave me a ring. We spent a consoling half-hour comparing symptoms and feeling relieved we weren’t as isolated as we thought. She too had decided not to tell anyone.
Of course, one reason we were keeping quiet was probably that very British reason we didn’t want to make a fuss. We may have felt hideous, but we weren’t dying, bereaved or needing ventilation like so many of the people we saw on the news fi fighting for their lives. Perhaps the rea real reason I hesitated o over sending that message was that it felt akin to having painted a cross o on my front door saying: saying “We’ve got the plagu plague.”
M My husband Anthony A was petrified that if anyone else in the family caught it, the finger of blame would be pointed at us. Looking back on it now, he admits: “I felt a bit stupid, as if we’d been careless.”
One of the things that handwashing, mask-wearing and two-metre social distancing rules have done is make us believe that it’s our fault if we get Covid-19 – a sign we should have been more careful. Research has found that when people are seen to be partly “responsible” for catching a virus, those people are more likely to get stigmatised.
Furthermore, as panic over the pandemic takes over our rational minds, more of us are also increasingly ruled by our primal, less reasonable, fight-or-flight responses.
Even though we generally don’t blame people for catching colds, many are seen as being responsible for catching Covid-19 because we are living in a feral atmosphere where it feels like a matter of life and death.
Indeed, a WHO report earlier this year has already raised concern that the outbreak is provoking “stigma and discriminatory behaviour against people perceived to have been in contact with the virus”. And Covid stigma of any kind is a concerning trend.
According to the WHO report: “People will be more likely to hide the fact they are ill and seeking healthcare. This can drive people away from getting screened, tested and quarantined.”
Dr Aria Campbell-danesh, a clinical psychologist specialising in behaviour change, says: “People may have an underlying fear that they will be judged. Worries and self-doubts can include ‘Should I have been more cautious?’ or ‘How will this impact my work?’ ”
Of course, Prince William may have simply not wanted to add further worry to a nation already reeling from the fact both his father and the Prime Minister had also caught the virus – the latter very seriously. But all of this raises the question of how many more people are being ‘‘Covid-silent’’?
For me, the stigma still hasn’t completely gone away. There have been moments when I have casually dropped it into conversation that I had it months ago, only for the person I am talking to visibly flinch as if I am still contagious. One acquaintance visibly took a step backwards when I confided in her.
Of course, we all have secrets. But should having Covid-19 really be one we should keep?
‘When I confided in her, one acquaintance visibly took a step backwards…’