We’ve surrendered to stuffing our faces
‘Heaven in Europe is where the police are English, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italians, and the Swiss organise everything. Hell in Europe is where the police are German, the cooks are English, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and the Italians organise everything.”
Sorry (not sorry) if this offends the woke brigade, but you can’t beat a mildly provocative stereotype. The origins of this witticism are lost in the mists of time, but the germ of truth remains – especially when it comes to our national cuisine.
A damning new report has revealed that “The British Diet” is going to be the death of us. It would be nice to think none of us knew what on earth the Oxford University researchers were on about. But the truth is we know only too well.
Yet we still have cupboards stuffed with white bread, large “sharing” bars of chocolate (yeah, right) and fruit drinks. Add to that the butter of evil, the jam of doom and we’re pretty much serving up heart attacks and stroke on a plate.
“Cardiovascular disease is one of the main causes of death and disability in the UK,” says the report. “Our research suggests that eating less chocolate, confectionery, butter, low-fibre bread, sugarsweetened beverages, fruit juice, table sugar and preserves could be associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular disease or death during middle-age.”
The answer, as always, is many more vegetables, a little more fruit and saving anything that comes in a packet for best. Or worst, depending on your perspective.
We don’t need to be told this. We know full well that a Mediterranean diet will do a lot more than make us look better in swimwear. The tragedy is that, somewhere along the line, most of us have surrendered ourselves to stuffing our faces with rubbish food, high in calories and low in nutrients. Because we’re not worth it?
Or is it, as some suggest, that we are too sexually repressed to enjoy the sensuous, slow pleasures of cooking and eating? If the Italians are put in charge of sex, they can presumably let us know.