Gyles BRANDRETH

In the 1980s we bought a diesel-fuelled Mercedes because the government told us petrol was bad and diesel was good.

When they changed their minds we did their bidding again and now have a Tesla. It looks good and I like to think it sends out the right signal, but I admit we are frightened of going on a journey of any length in case we can’t find anywhere to recharge it. So that’s my first guilty secret: I boast about my Tesla while secretly getting from A to B in diesel-fuelled black cabs. And now I’ve started, I’d better finish. I am still taking a bath – yes, a proper, deep one where the water rises to the brim and (if I’m a bit boisterous with the loofah) spills over onto the bathroom floor. And, yes, I am still getting the

Telegraph delivered to the door – by a “paper guy” on a motorbike. Well, for heaven’s sake, I am 73.

Gyles Brandreth