The Daily Telegraph

A tale of three women in black bras and heels


Thank you for all the stories about long marriages, both tender and hilarious, and for the legions who pointed out I got my Trumpton mixed up with my Camberwick Green. A grievous error I shan’t be making again in a hurry. If I ever get to the stage where I can’t identify Windy Miller, you have permission to take me out and shoot me.

Both widows and widowers wrote wistfully that they hadn’t realised how irreplacea­ble their other half was until they’d gone, which made me think I really must appreciate Himself more. Familiarit­y breeds content, not contempt.

My favourite funny story came from Emma. It’s told in a woman’s voice:

I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 25 years. We were chatting about our relationsh­ips and decided

to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We met a few days later, to exchange notes. Here’s how it went...

My engaged friend:

The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, stilettos and a mask.

He said: “You’re the woman of my dreams. I love you.” Then we made passionate love all night.

The mistress:

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said, “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

 ??  ?? Playing mask and loose: the classic adventurer Zorro came to mind
Playing mask and loose: the classic adventurer Zorro came to mind

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