DIARY OF A MODERN DAD
An earnest attempt to impart wisdom is not always what is required…
Like any parent, I’m always anxious to satisfy my son’s thirst for knowledge. Unfortunately, though, it can lead to misunderstandings.
“Dada,” said my son the other day, out of the blue. “What’s ‘ET’ short for?”
“Good question,” I said, encouragingly. “It’s short for ‘extra terrestrial’, meaning ‘alien’. Hence the name of the film. Literally, it means ‘outside earth’. Like how in French, ‘terre’ means ‘earth’ – as in ‘pomme de terre’, apple of the earth, which is what they call a potato. Funny name, isn’t it? But originally I think ‘terre’, or possibly ‘terra’, is from Latin. Hang on, I’ll google it.”
My son stared. “Dada,” he said, “it’s a joke. It’s because he’s only got little legs.”
Still, at least I’m not alone. An old schoolfriend, who’s a nurse, had a similar experience one Christmas.
“Mum,” said her son, “what happens if you eat tinsel?”
“Probably emergency surgery,” she replied briskly, “to prevent obstruction in your digestive system.”
Her son looked at her blankly, and then in a small voice said: “You get tinsel-itis.”